a whole lotta rubbish

money money money.
everyone is living for money.
it seems like its the only thing we cannot do without.
(whatever happened to love and relationships?).
honestly,
i would rather have the connections i made with people.
however,
when you're with them,
you tend to want to provide more things for them.
this is where money comes in AGAIN.
a vicious cycle indeed.

on a side note,
i'm really loving the Harajuku Lovers fragrance by Gwen Stefani.
they come in Gwen, Love, Angel, Music and Baby.
each fragrance smells different and is meant to represent Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku dancers.
well, for a Harajuku fan like me,
I can't help but wanna collect them!!!!
they cost a bomb though.
perhaps this could be a Christmas present for myself,
at least I know what i am saving for :)

super kawaii~

dance has been smooth sailing.
recital choreography is finally done.
i ain't too sure about certain steps.
must really work harder than the rest of them.
i gave myself a new goal for this coming recital.
i wanna achieve it.
there has been so many obstacles in my way,
but i'm still fighting.
yes, so what if i sit and cry about it sometimes?
i just find it as a form of release,
so that i'll be back on my feet stronger.
thanks to all that understand,
and special thanks to certain special people that has always been there.

oh by the way,
i was watching telly just now with my cousins and daddy.
my lil female cousin was sitting next to me,
trying to tickle me with her small hands,
using her chin to rub my bruise,
and occasionally lying flat on top of me,
gigling like a kuku.
i just find her so adorable.
like when she wanted to get on the other side of the couch,
she asked me to help her do a cartwheel over(my body).
LOL.
they were watching some programme on OKTO and when it ended she said:

Lil Cousin: Why the TV show end already but Ahma still hasn't finish talking?

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
so cuteeeeeeeee.
i just wanna wrap her in my arms and hug her to sleep.
lol.

been having bad dreams lately.
one about my dad being tortured,
another about him(i can't remember),
i only know i woke up crying.
and recently of the boyfriend.

i dreamt that i was playing something that goes round/ice-skating,
then he wasn't in the rink but outside of it.
the weird thing is this bespectacled, demure looking girl was standing in front of him.
like body on body kind.
she was like coming on to him and stuff,
he didn't reject it.
then after my ride ended,
i walked up to them,
she saw me and left.
i asked him why he didn't reject her,
he said...(i can't remember.LOL).
if i'm not wrong he didn't know how to reject her,
and kept asking for my forgiveness.
LOL.
then i woke up.
scared me like shit man,
this dream.
i don't want it to happen.

i told him about it,
and he said in a funny cute way "Okay, let's not go ice-skating then."
heh.
:)))))))))))))))))))

i wonder if the dream is trying to make me aware of the insecurity inside me.
i don't know man.
i admit there's times where i feel like this,
but i always win myself over by reminding myself to trust him.
anyway we already talked about it,
this is something i have to overcome.
i wonder why i feel like this,
is it cos people i love always leave me?

anyway, this relationship isn't just about me me me me me.
i realised i tend to be more aware of his feelings and other people's too.
how they look at us,
how they feel that they are interrupting,
how he feels when other guy touch me etc.
it's complicated in a good, sublime way.
it's like dancing,
getting to know your body better.

it's amazing when you realise how much you can do for someone,
much isn't even the word to describe it.
more than much,
much more that much.

at times i feel that i'll scare him away by saying heartfelt thoughts,
but somehow he has always been here.
i never knew love coud be so delicate and haunting at the same time.
words,
can be so powerful.
that's why i've always like hearing sweet conversations.
it fills me :)

anyhoo,
i've ranted alot today.
shall end with a nice song and a funny video.
:)



Artist: Matt Nathanson
Album: Some Mad Hope
Title: Come On Get Higher

I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If i could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I feel the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils and god when you come on
Hold on

Hold on, hold on, hold on....
(sing shaa la la la laa
Ouuu)

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me
Drown me in love

It's all wrong
It's all wrong
It's all wrong, its so right

Come on get higher
Come on and get higher
Because everything works love
Because everything works in your heart



WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
HAHAHAHHAHAA.
Super funny.

Really funny day

I saw my Dad laughed real hard just now.
It was just the three of us, him, sissy and I.
I think he almost cried.
We laughed together... HARD.
Lol.
Why?
Well we were recalling an incident on cats in our neighbourhood.

There's this particular cat, also referred to as Patches.
It likes sleeping in the back of my Dad's lorry.
So one day while we were heading out.
We didn't know it was sleeping there.
My Dad got to the lorry first, and saw it as we were about to open the door.
He decided to scare it, as always.
Oh how shocked it was.
It panicked so hard that it aimed wrongly. LOL
You know the railings on the lorries we see?
Patches DIVED straight into that,
of course it rebounced!
HAHAHAHAHAA.
Then it made another suicide jump successfully outta the lorry.

Another time,
the same old "cat-sleeping-at-the-back-of-the-lorry" scene happened.
This time, the cat isn't very smart either.
Well it decided to change direction, towards the back where people get on/off the lorry.
The problem is, the lorry is parked in a multi-story carpark.
And somehow there's like grills/gates at the back of each lot to prevent the car from falling down a level.
Yup, you guessed it right.
The cat CHIONGED into the gate okay.
MY DAD LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.
LOL.
Till today. whenever we talk about that cat,
he still continues his laughter.
LMAO.
That's one hella scaredey-cat alright.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Loving this song
Chromeo - Needy Girl



Wanna play yourself and no one else - Alright(A A A Alright)
And You Wanna go out wanna scream and shout Tonight(To to Tonight)
You Want some space like get out of my face Alright(A A A Alright)
And you want me back put your life on track - Tonight (To o oonight)

Chorus :
You're a needy girl I can tell when I look in your big brown eyes
You Want my world but how can I do yours if I can't do mine
I Try to change but somehow it don't matter i dont feel the same
It's all about what you want what you say how you feel how you play the game

You're a needy girl
And you want my world
I Try to change
But its not the same

Telephone

When you're home alone, you don't answer the phone Alright(Aaa Alright)
But its like a crime if I don't answer mine Tonight(Too o Tonight)
So you found a man and he is more than a friend Alright(Aaa Alright)
But you still call me for some t-l-c Tonight(Tooo Tonight)

Chorus :
You're a needy girl I can tell when I look in your big brown eyes
You want my world but how can I do yours if I cant do mine
I try to change but somehow i dont feel the same
Its all about what you want what you say how you feel how play the game

You're a needy girl
And you want my world
I try to change
But its not the same

The whole family talked about marriage/shotgun today.
I was telling mum how I want to find a boyfriend,
date for 4 years,
before getting married.
Dad was so distracted by the whole conversation that he kept turning the wrong way whilst on the road.
Lol.
AND AND AND!
He blamed us for that.
The problem is,
no one was talking to him.

me: Dad, no one is talking to you, you know
Dad: Shotgun, Longgun, see la make me turn the wrong way!

Oh Daddy.

Oh oh oh,
Beibei said she almost fell off the bed when she read the post about her.
LOL.

Meowing off for now!