Life

i guess the reason why i was afraid to come back is because i was afraid of this.
i forgot to breathe again.
i wonder is it because i felt so relaxed there,
the problems/work related issues back home are just stressing me out.
i get scared when i gasp for air later.
how can i not breathe?


people just don't appreciate the things they have for now.
yes, you can have a lot of things,
that are too complicated and too tough for you to handle,
but when someone is gone,
regret wouldn't bring you anywhere.

you might think that person/thing will always be here.
but that isn't the case,
people move on,
things depreciate over time.
why can't you just make the most of what you have now?

sometimes, waiting isn't the best option at all.
don't take things for granted.
love someone wholeheartedly,
not just based on words,
but through actions and sincerity.

i need you more than i love you, and i love you to bits.

i miss my best guy friend very much (though we just met the day before.) but time was shortlived, he had to rush off and study. hopefully we can go out soon after the exams end!

okay enough of the sappy introduction, i guess i didn't mention, but i went for Uniqlo's interview on Monday and i managed to get short-listed for the second round of interviews. i really have to thank Ms Virginia Cheng(the HK communication skills tutor) for prepping me for it. you can say, the interviews went pretty well :)

headed to the library afterwards, basically i spent the entire day with myself. having some 'me' time and reminiscing the past as i walked home from Hougang Mall.

i think i left out something, that most of my Poly friends will not know, i used to walk home from school everyday to get myself in shape for prom. The walk is about half an hour to forty-five minutes long, about the same distance if you walk from Temasek Polytechnic to Tampines MRT Station.

the walk was good, i thought about the past, the memories i kept, the crushes i've had and of cos' the friends i made as i passed by my secondary school on my way home. funny how things are the same yet different. i learnt alot in there, how to protect myself and knowing who to trust. i really thank my friends for being with me in my time there, i am missing Suzianne and the rest bad.

girls and boys out there, let me ask you guys a question, haven't you wondered, how do you really know when a relationship/friendship/whatevership ends?

The Answer: When you find yourself more in love with the memories rather than the person in front of you.

True enough eh?

Sometimes we find ourselves discontented and unhappy in a relationship, but we cannot put a finger to what is the real problem. Then we start recalling the past, whereby mostly are fixations of the blissfulness that we have experienced. And... we forget that the person who is right in front of you is the same as the one in the memory, because we only remembered how happy we are then.

It made me ponder a bit on certain issues in my life, yes of cos' with my boyfriend too. I realised that I for one have been unhappy in this relationship a bit, I am not blaming him or anything, cos' I found out most of the time that I am upset and I cannot find a reason why, is because my needs are not being fulfilled.

What needs?

Recognition, affection, career, monetary, friendship... and the list goes on.

So that has nothing got to do with my boyfriend isn't it?

WRONG.

everyone just wants more and more and more. that is perhaps how the pile of issues has built up between us overtime.

at least we bothered to work it out, than to leave it hanging. hopefully, it will not happen again(the arguement on Valentine's) and we will be better partners for each other.

on a second note, special thanks to everyone for my birthday present.

jasmine yap - ferragamo Inspire perfume (i think)

andreas, iris, kat, joyce, joey, chin, bei & serene - adidas pangyang-ish hat & dustbin

joyce - notes & random korean gifts!!

nicole & ahlee - mphosis shorts & the advice on sex. LOL.

thanks to those who surprised me at my place! i was vividly surprised and horrified at the same time, cos i look plain ugly. thanks everyone for coming though, yes including beifang's brother whose name i have yet to get to know of.

pictures below!

wishes with my family

the tpde love!

clubbing the day after i'm 19.

anyway, i'm gonna be hanging out with my girlfriends tomorrow. a night fun and partying. heh.

NICOLE & AHLEE: I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS TONNES!

okay, like they will read.

ciao mamacitas~

Project: Group Meeting.

hey guys yet again.
i have yet to update on a long-awaited post.
OUR OFFICIAL GROUP PROJECT AT DARON'S PLACE.
yes yes yes.
where all the members are FINALLY present to do our projects together.
if i'm not wrong it was 2 or 3 Sundays ago,
where we headed to Daron's crib in a corner of Tampines to do our project!
it was the first time where everyone was present,
diligently doing our projects together whilst having a teen weeny bit of fun.

first, i have to say that i was mega impressed by Daron's crib!
the interior spells simplicity and cosiness.
the whole zen/vintage feel made the entire house feel really warm!
what i like most were the doors to the bedroom.
instead of traditional knobbed-doors,
their doors depict old-world charm by using a block of wood to lock the doors.
like those you see in really old movies.
so you close the door by connecting two door planks together,
locking it by sliding another piece of wood through an opening.
cool huh!
i was very impressed.
pictures below to see the interior of his place!
oh oh oh!
his house was even featured in a interior design magazine eons ago!

entrace to his flat.

the living room

in another angle

his post donut birthday party decorations

daron's room.

inside his room

his mini-collection of cool stuff

hongkong anyone?

the door that i was raving about.

cool eh?

the lock! *edited for clearer viewing*

sorry the photos didn't do justice to his place,
as i was using my 2.0megapixel camera phone!!!!
i can say Daron's a sucker for perfection.
i busily snapped pictures around his place and upon knowing it,
he quickly tidied up and asked me to do another round of shots.
heh.
so this is pre-photoshoot look of the house!

his place, pre-tidying up.

him tidying up furiously.

okay i decided to have some fun at his place too!

hello i am samansarii!

hardworking mates in the foreground and me skiving off!

til...
the project bug caught up and made me look like this ------>

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

samansarii has to pose for a picture no matter what!


the the bug decides to take on Daron too!!!!!!!!!

wahahahaha.

okay i have to study for my IM test tomorrow,
but i still have a dying desire to blog on an issue.

you know i hate it when people ask someone else to do the dirty work for them.
if you are opposed to the matter so much then DO IT YOURSELF.
don't make someone feel so uncomfortable by having to becoming the messenger.
that feeling sucks,
you say i don't think about people's feelings,
but have you thought about the person that you made them abide to your request???
seriously, just think about it,
before you start preaching on what you feel about this and that to me.

secondly, i would like to make an apology to suyin.
i know many people have questioned her regarding my post on not being invited.
apparently there were certain miscommunication issues and i didn't received the text invite.
suyin told me personally that she sent out a few but i didn't reply.
however on my part, i received no text on that day.
thus, i was left out unintentionally.
to clarify everything it was just a miscommunication between people and a communication breakdown between technical equipments.
therefore i have no grudge or anything against her.

one thing i am still very riled up on is questioning my participation in this friendship.
if you guys feel that i have made no effort or what-so-ever in this friendship then i have nothing to say.
i have told you guys the reasons on my absence on most occasions,
cos my schedule is usually pack with dance training way ahead,
thus i will not be able to attend anything that is planned out of the blue.
i really appreciate the efforts though,
when such texts are sent out.
i always make the effort to reply them no matter what.
but since you guys already have this precoception that i cannot be bothered with our frienship, it saddens me, but i have nothing to say.
suzanne and i have discussed this issue through and through,
why can't we have a frienship that knows each other inside out?
when we see each other we'll be as close as before?
we don't have to meet all the time and etc.
just montly meet ups will do.

i think all these are based on my perception of things,
but truthfully speaking i really do cherish this frienship that we had.
i guess we can have two outlooks on this issue:
1. Try and omit the weirdness when we see each other once in awhile.
(I don't get it why such things will occur, i thought we know each other well enough to not have such feelings about each other, i don't seem to have a problem towards you guys, but i know some of us do.)

2. Just forget about me.
(Makes things easier i presume?)

it is kinda sad that such an issue will occur,
but perhaps it is a rude-awakening in our face,
that time passes and people move on.
okay so much for a happy new year God.
(and i predict, there will be posts commenting on me no?)

bye world!