butired (busy + tired)

Hello World!

Sorry for being away for so long, I have been pretty busy with Jim Beam Dance Competition, IJ Submissions and Projects! So much so that I have been suffering from fatigue and lack of sleep. The rest day I had on Monday was amazing, I slept, wake up do Ij, sleep, do IJ, sleep, eat and then sleep again. The best day of the week so far.

Anyhoo, congrats to The Epic Crew for being Champions this year, I am really happy for them!!! Even though I feel a little bitter for not winning anything, because of all the hardwork we put into, but I am so glad at least TPDE won something! Really proud of them, now we can show others what we can really do! Especially to all those doubters!

After the event, we stayed and clubbed for a bit, saw many interesting stuffs. Guys in cropped tops and tight fit pants doing their thing, a couple that SHOWED too much and TOUCHED too much and the best of the best would be seeing Xuehui and gang high! LOL. It was hilarious, like suddenly they feel so carefree, like a bird stuck in its cage for too long, suddenly tasting freedom. Funny man! Cannot imagine if Gin was there, ohmygoodness, HAVOC? Wish i could video it down, but I was too busy laughing!

Don't know why I feel damn lousy now, I wonder if all this is adding up to the fact that my period is 2 days late. I just feel like shit and not good enough for anything right now. I wonder when will be my time, all these times of hardwork and sweat is just not enough. I know I have to get over this obstacle again, but after not meeting my expectations time and again, I really question myself, am I good enough? I feel lousy and just bad, I don't know if I can make it as a dancer next time. I know I will be able to pick myself up, but when the next time comes again, I will just be stuck in a rut like this time.

God give me an opportunity.

Days like this.

"Miss Lee, I want to press the player!"

"Miss Lee, I want to hold your hand!!"

"Miss Lee, ........................."

The constant droning of these little kids are stuck in my head. No matter how mischievious they are, they are still very adorable! My already burnt hand from Arnold's Fried Chicken @ City Plaza, was feeling way my sore then ever! Imagine 4 kids trying to hold your hand. I was literally stuck in a rut. Like what should I do? Then, I cam up with a solution, taking turns. Somehow, it has little effect on one of the boys... Cheeky!

Days like this seem to pass so slowly. After class today, I was feeling super worn out and dreading each movement I make. Just wanna fall into the embrace of my bed and sleepy like there's no tomorrow. But of cos, I can't! I had to walk that 29307349303km path to the bus-stop that has my bus, just to get home. Oh my sore body was calling out to me, but I just had to keep on walking to my destination. On the path there, loneliness kinda hit me hard. I watched the kites flying individually in the sky and I felt like I was one of them. Alone. I contemplated calling people, but I just can't find the right person. Before I get too in my head, my latest book reading collection got me busy and I totally forgot about it.

I love myself! *chuuuuu*

Okay, I am really tired, gotta wake up early for training tomorrow! Yay!

BEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

BUSY BEE!

Hello world.

I AM MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINED.

Seriously, for the first week of holidays, I feel like I have been rushing non-stop 24/7. I eat for fifteen minutes and I have to jet off to another location. My stomach feels weird and my body is feeling uncomfortable. I just want a holiday! A good break to rest my worn out body. However, everytime that thought comes to my head, i'll think of work, projects, IJs, dance, money, family etc etc.
Samansarii is one unhappy girl. :(

Am i entering mid-life crisis? I'm only 19! Please don't do this to me! Whatever happened to the vibrance of youth and the vitality of being young! I feel like I am 40, and working my ass off for retirement funds already. Okay, the more I say the more I feel like crying, ugh, holiday... celebrate...

Rebel last night was crazy, I laughed till my jaws ache and it is the most unglam club experience I had. I was wearing a dress and dancing the hiphop kinda style with the occasional girls hiphop. Hahaha, I really don't care. Iris and I was like "We pay $20, must lose weight!!". Crazy girls, I love dancing with them! All the weird pattern start coming out (we did a modern inspired item in the club. O.O), so funny yet fun. Get it? Hahaha! However, that will be my last Saturday clubbing night, the cost is high and it makes me fat!!!!!!! (cos some of us went to eat dimsum after that, awesome stuff!!!).

Woke up early the next day to have Father's Day celebration. My goondo mum, thought it is this week, so we kinda celebrated early. It was great though, she initiated the event for the first time! Thus, I had to give dance ministry a miss. Overall, today made me super tired and super duper drained. I just wanna rest in bed for 72 hours. Perhaps, head to the beach, roll around in the sand, get a burn and smell of summer.

Sigh... When will that happen?

samansarii outdid herself

okay, i got home at like 5.15am this morning after clubbing at St. James,
with really random people,
like andreas, kat, iris, pangyang, meiqi, ahlee, jj, melissa, hazrul.
hahaha, weird combination right.
anyway it was ladies night, so the girls got in for free,
we had an additional 5 drinks, YAY!
the guys had to pay like $25 which is like giving free money.
i mean the music is okay,
the crowd was alright,
and there were transvesites and gays....
so yeah, not much hot chicks either.
so poor thing.
HAHAHA.

that night was hilarious cos,
melissa took over ahlee's role as the crazy girl that's in her own world.
she was like holding the podium, and dutty wining like crazy.
ahlee was tired lah, but i think both of them can fight man.
meiqi as usual, dance a bit then tired. HAHAHA
managed to have a small cypher.
it's quite pathetic,
bboy pawprints did HIPHOP!
oh my ass~
okay, this time round not only did we own the podium again,
we also owned the dance floor,
cos after awhile everyone was looking at us,
and we had ALOT of space.
LOL.

woke up at 11am,
left the house ten minutes before noon to meet
revogue, nelson and andreas.
discussed about our upcoming church performance and we learnt bboying!
oh my ass,
so friggin' tiring!!!!!!!!!!!
i keep thinking, i must be like hazrul/dope bgirl when i'm doing.
to portray the FEEL, you know?
glad that i had fun.
the lack of sleep made me pissed with myself,
iris too i suppose, cos she was crying.
HAHAHA.
cheer up girl, sleep early!!!!

went to O School,
joined Gin for her reggae class.
was quite stressed cos i cannot afford to make mistakes!!!
and i'm like super tired,
so i had to force myself to keep awake.
i really enjoy helping her teach the reggae course.
it's fun and i get to learn new things :)
it's quite an experience,
being an instructor assistant.
hopefully in the near future i will be good enough to stand beside a dope dancer and be their assistant too.
someone like...rino nakasone.
HAHAHAHA.

lyrical recital thereafter,
ryan's really mad.
he comes up with these weird choreography that i am so in love with.
hee~
i really wanna do well for this recital!

i came to realised that,
after steeping into poly,
i became more straightforward in terms of facing my emotions.
in the past, i tend to bottle everything inside,
how much i care for people, how much i want to be there for them,
i was to embarrased to say it out.
but now, i finally said it out,
it's tough, difficult and weird.
i felt so naked,
but knowing that your friends know how much i care for them,
its a very soothing feeling.

i know this friend of mine is going through a tough time right now,
facing his problems and people who opposes him.
i think you should not think so much,
you're looking into too many details.
people don't hate you,
i think they just dislike certain actions that you are doing.
since you have already apologised to a handful of us,
i think you should talk to the others about it too.
we have already forgiven you,
and you have the chance to repent.
so fret not, we'll try to understand you.
but you must know that the impression you left in other's mind/hearts is already there.
and it takes time to change it.
so don't give up.
andreas tan, we;ll be here for you!
:)

a photo i forgot to upload in the previous post.

badd and bimbo reliving their childhood :)

Suntec Dance Heats 1 2008

I'm finally online after days of being disconnected from the cyber world,
dance training has been taking a toll on my tired body,
and seriously,
i'm like laden with injuries.
BOO-HOO!

Well, yesterday's competition was not my best,
I screwed up big time,
but thank God it was the last bit.
My legs went numb after coming offstage,
I got pretty afraid then,
cos I cannot feel them.
Anyway, waiting for the results were a killer.
Our results got announced LAST.
Can you imagine the anxiety we had?
Anyway, good job reVogue!
We'll put up a better one for the semi-finals!
We're two steps nearer to our goal!
:)))))))))))))

Ciao~, I need sleep badly.