After thinking for many months and talking to some lovely people yesterday, I have decided to pen down the extra 'feelings' I have for a certain group of friends.
I don't really care now that my circle of close secondary school friends have dwindled down to a single digit 2, I don't care if the rest are fucked up/angry with me and I don't care if you were pissed with me for what happened in September last year.
But I do know now that I still have 2 very good friends from my puberty days growing up with me and moving on in life.
Frankly speaking, I do feel guilty for not having enough time or putting enough effort in meeting up with the rest, I was pursuing my dream, my passion, my goal. Is that so wrong for me to do so? I don't think so. You might think that I am selfish, but I am just aiming for my goals, moving on with life, heading towards the direction that I want to head to. Like I said, I admitted my negligence on the group and I am sorry for that. For putting you guys off or turning down events because I am packed with last minute rehearsals and what not. Most of the days where you guys are available, I have rehearsals. When I am free, you guys are not. It is just difficult to compromise to a suitable timing. Even so, some of us are still able to meet up without being pushy or demanding about it.
Just to clear things up about what happened in September, I was super eager to meet up and celebrate, I even agreed and said I had bought the present already, so I won't be sharing that. (FYI no one replied to that and kept me to share for present and I don't know what.) Then I had last minute rehearsals, and I asked if we could do something else instead cos I thought it would be too costly on your pockets if I wasn't there (perhaps I didn't explain clearly) and you got pissed with me for that. I'm sorry if I am such a broke miser that I cannot such a luxurious gift for my friend, but it is the thought that counts right?
Just so you know, I am totally cool now that you guys don't ask me out or whatsoever, I have someone to share this feeling with me.
And from this, I know what REAL FRIENDSHIP is.
Friendship is not determined by the quantity of time spent, but the quality of each rare, precious moment is shared with your friends. Seriously I treasured all my friends, no matter how much differences we have, I just have a different outlook of it.
Now I know, I have a group of close friends that keep me sane and make me insane at the same time, the group that seen the good, bad and ugly sides of me and still cherish me even though I cannot meet up with them (perhaps meet only once/twice a year?).
And I know, that we will be friends for life.
I am not talking about everyone in this post... perhaps just two people. Oh well, stay happy and don't bitch too much. Karma can be a very cruel thing. No hard feelings okay.
Okay, I gotta hibernate and protect myself cos I believe people will start cursing from this post onwards.
