caught in this rapture of love.

So this time around,
I'm going away again, without you.
The difference is we are not together anymore.
Yet, I am still hopelessly devoted, hopelessly in love, hopelessly waiting for you.
Not that I want to think that it is entirely hopeless,
you said this trying to you is 1% success and 99% failure,
but I see it the other way round.

People say love blinds people.
I say love accepts people.
I accepted you when you said you like being like this.
I accepted you when everything you do hurts and kills me inside.
I accepted you when you took advantage of me.
I accepted every bit of it.
No, I don't feel like I am being a fool,
I just want to love you in my way.

You say if you really love someone, let them go.
But it got me thinking,
if that's the case will anyone ever get married?
Will our parents still have hope in us, even if we commit mistakes after mistakes?
No...
I truly am caught in this rapture of love,
and I never want to just let it go.
Because you mean so much to me,
because you are worth loving,
because you complete me.

I don't even know if you read this,
but all these are words from my heart.
I mean every bit of it, every detail.
Perhaps I have told you more than once before,
but you might not haven taken my words seriously.
But I just want you to know,
You are special to me,
You are precious to me,
You are my joy,
and I love you still, every single day, every single moment of my life.

Sometimes I wonder,
if I went away for long, will you miss me?
Will you think of me? Will you love me more? Will you give us this chance again?
It tortures me to know that we are so close yet miles apart from each other.
I want to be your special person again,
I want to be the important woman in your life,
I want to be the one who understands you the most,
I want to be your girl,
the only girl in the world to shower you with love.

Whenever I think about this, I just feel like disappearing...
And not coming back.
Sigh.

Will you give me an answer soon?
When I'm back can the 1% success becomes 99.9999999% success instead?


I miss you.