to the boy i love

done with 2 sermons and 8 more to go...
i should be sleeping soon since preaching test is in a few hours time and i need to catch up on sleep!
since, i'm still awake,
thought that i should blog for a bit to update this space.

it's been what 6 days since we last talked,
i hope things are doing well for you,
i just want you to know that i still care and love you the same.
you say things will never be the same again, that i know very well,
because i want to believe things will be better than before.
you ask me "why do i love you so much?",
honestly speaking i can't find a specific answer to that question.
i love everything about you,
your laziness, your humor, your smile, your kindness, your patience, your tantrums...
perhaps i haven't been in the right state of mind,
because every word, every action you make still affects me.
i am not the most self-controlled person in the world,
and i am a girl.
when i'm angry, when i'm hurt, when i'm sad,
words just roll out without processing through my head.
and you and i know, that you're like that too.
as you're enjoying your current status,
i want to bring you back on memory lane,
the kind of happiness, peace, love and joy that we shared.
from our first dates, to our trips abroad together, to going the extra mile for each other...
take a look at the watch that i gave you, can we still live and love each other in this same timeline?
i really miss the boy that once loved me and the boy that i once loved.
the boy is selfless and so exquisite in my eyes.
the boy and i that complete each other.

i'm doing a lot better lately, not because i have moved on,
but because i have my friends support and i'm hoping to see that special smile for me once more.
there are so many things going on that i wish to share with you.
but i know you need time,
and i am giving you time.
i'm waiting for your call,
i'm waiting to see that boy becoming a man. :)

i know you feel that you don't need anyone in your life,
but i'm sure you know that isn't the case.
when you are down and out,
your friends are there for you,
i have been there for you,
listening to you thrashing all your displeasure,
though i couldn't help much, but i'm really thankful at that time you chose me.

so as july 18 comes,
i really hope that you would think seriously and think long term about this.
i don't see this relationship as a joke or a one-off play thing,
i was serious.
and i'm sure you feel the same.
you might think this might not benefit you in the long run,
but looking back those 2++ years we had,
did you really not benefit anything from it? :)

it is my desire to head into the unknown future with you,
to walk beside you equally,
to be respected, loved, cared by you,
as you are to me.
to be the most important person in your life.
you are so imperfectly perfect and i hope you still feel this way for us.
perhaps this time apart is really for us to build a stronger relationship together.
that i really don't know.
so don't say that you don't love me anymore,
don't say that you don't care about me anymore,
don't say that i am not important to you anymore,
and don't say that it is impossible for us anymore.

today, i am still waiting for your call.
i don't know how long it'll take,
but i believe you won't go back on your word.
i miss everything about you. :)

this isn't history.

it hurts too much to move on without trying.

i miss you like crazy every single day and when i see all these messages from you,

i love you more and i long more for us.

don't shut me out like that....

kaiwen - one part of my life is settled. all-about-me-kw.blogspot.com says:

hello

kaiwen - one part of my life is settled. all-about-me-kw.blogspot.com says:

i would still love u

kaiwen - one part of my life is settled. all-about-me-kw.blogspot.com says:

=)

Playin': David Cook - Come Back To Me

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you

You say you're leaving as you look away
I know there's really nothing left to say
Just know I'm here whenever you need me I'll wait for you

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

Take your time, I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you

Oh and I'll let you go, I'll set your free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

I can't get close if you're not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul there
I can't face you, I can't save you
It's something you'll have to do

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
Come back to me

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

You find you, come back to me
When you find you, come back to me
When you find you, come back to me


© STELLAR SONGS LTD;

burdened

Why do people not cherish each other? Taking things for granted all the time. You feel hurt, lost and unhappy, but have you thought about it yourself who is causing all these drama but yourself? I mean, sometimes we fall into such a trap that we set up, to get a taste of our own medicine, to want to know what the other party feels. But don't you think this is a little unfair for the person who is going through with you? Especially when it is occurring too many times?

Relationships are actually very simple. Do you love that person? Or do you not love that person? If you love him/her, it is very natural to want to do the best you can for that person. Without expecting the same in return. People express their love in various degrees, some can be passionate, words filled with sweet nothings. Others can be practical, being there for you, doing small things like bringing chicken soup for you when you are sick. The bottom line is to appreciate. Appreciate each other, every day, for the rest of your life that you are together. Cherish him/her when you have them beside you, little by little you will soon realize that they have become your support. No one can survive this world alone. You need a PERSON who understands you and cares for you, because that is how God made Man. He created a helper for Man, which is a Woman. So that when the two are joined, they become One.

So why are you still not appreciating and cherishing him/her? If I were in your shoes, I would reflect and think about the situation. Just think, did he/she really did nothing for you? Didn't he/she shower you with love and attention? Didn't he/she gave you comfort and love when you feel like the whole world was rejecting you?

In your place with such a great man/woman, I would love him/her with all my heart and soul. I would cherish everything. When everything seems impossible, I wouldn't say that it's pointless/useless and take off, I would put in every amount of effort I have to make this relationship work out because he/she is doing the best that he/she can. Can you not see how much he/she loves you? Are you blinded by the worldly things? What can be greater than love? Money? When you have all the money in the world, and realize that no one loves you, will you be happy? Even if you do settle down, are you really certain that he/she is loving you for who you are and not your money? If you have noticed, he/she truly loves you because they held on for so long, trying to work things out with the unchanging you... Sadly, you don't realize it.

I am not talking about my story. I just hope that people in love think about things like this before they seperate from each other. I speak from experience, because there are some things that I regretted not doing when I was in a relationship. If we had another chance, of course I would be more understanding, I would cherish, I would treasure, I would appreciate, I would support and most of all I would love. This is not compromising but loving with all that I can, that is just so simple.

Most of all, I hope you read this and reflect on your action/words. I'm worried and I just want the best for you. (not talking about my issue.)