i should be sleeping soon since preaching test is in a few hours time and i need to catch up on sleep!
since, i'm still awake,
thought that i should blog for a bit to update this space.
it's been what 6 days since we last talked,
i hope things are doing well for you,
i just want you to know that i still care and love you the same.
you say things will never be the same again, that i know very well,
because i want to believe things will be better than before.
you ask me "why do i love you so much?",
honestly speaking i can't find a specific answer to that question.
i love everything about you,
your laziness, your humor, your smile, your kindness, your patience, your tantrums...
perhaps i haven't been in the right state of mind,
because every word, every action you make still affects me.
i am not the most self-controlled person in the world,
and i am a girl.
when i'm angry, when i'm hurt, when i'm sad,
words just roll out without processing through my head.
and you and i know, that you're like that too.
as you're enjoying your current status,
i want to bring you back on memory lane,
the kind of happiness, peace, love and joy that we shared.
from our first dates, to our trips abroad together, to going the extra mile for each other...
take a look at the watch that i gave you, can we still live and love each other in this same timeline?
i really miss the boy that once loved me and the boy that i once loved.
the boy is selfless and so exquisite in my eyes.
the boy and i that complete each other.
i'm doing a lot better lately, not because i have moved on,
but because i have my friends support and i'm hoping to see that special smile for me once more.
there are so many things going on that i wish to share with you.
but i know you need time,
and i am giving you time.
i'm waiting for your call,
i'm waiting to see that boy becoming a man. :)
i know you feel that you don't need anyone in your life,
but i'm sure you know that isn't the case.
when you are down and out,
your friends are there for you,
i have been there for you,
listening to you thrashing all your displeasure,
though i couldn't help much, but i'm really thankful at that time you chose me.
so as july 18 comes,
i really hope that you would think seriously and think long term about this.
i don't see this relationship as a joke or a one-off play thing,
i was serious.
and i'm sure you feel the same.
you might think this might not benefit you in the long run,
but looking back those 2++ years we had,
did you really not benefit anything from it? :)
it is my desire to head into the unknown future with you,
to walk beside you equally,
to be respected, loved, cared by you,
as you are to me.
to be the most important person in your life.
you are so imperfectly perfect and i hope you still feel this way for us.
perhaps this time apart is really for us to build a stronger relationship together.
that i really don't know.
so don't say that you don't love me anymore,
don't say that you don't care about me anymore,
don't say that i am not important to you anymore,
and don't say that it is impossible for us anymore.
today, i am still waiting for your call.
i don't know how long it'll take,
but i believe you won't go back on your word.
i miss everything about you. :)
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