Good/Bad Day

Today's a good/bad day.
Good in a way I got to know the people in class a lil bit better,
when Kat was sick and left me alone.
Angeline and Estee are so nice.
Seriously, I think she's my motivation in school.
If not, I just wanna skip lessons and sleep.
Also, I get to lunch with ya.
Small things like this makes me happy.
I can't believe you actually bought Andreas that Tiramisu!!
Haha, so funny, in a cute way.
Worst was, that Andreas, super thick-skinned.
He actually cleared his table,
like awaiting for his food to arrive!!
Anyway, all the best for tomorrow.
Have faith in yourself!!!
I'm sure you can do it :)


After pastamania today,
I headed back to school,
stomach feeling funny, with Aglio Olio Olive Oil coating the insides of me.
Then halfway during the very cold lecture,
I couldn't take it anymore,
and I started bombing the business school girls toliet.
Oh my,
it's like worst than World War 2.
Yeah, I shall save the details.
I was feeling cold, tired, in pain and my body was aching all over.
The nausea sensation was kicking at the back of my throat.
It's like whispering "I'm coming Sam, soon..."
After doing my thang, I was super woozy,
I just wanna lie in the ladies.
You know that sucky feeling?
I got home in a cab, without fainting,
and proceeded to my lair - the couch.
Grandma's worried, but I just couldn't open my mouth to talk much,
it like required the energy equilavent to do G Slide.
Okay I shall go sleep now,
training tomorrow and sunday.
I hope I get better tomorrow.
Perhaps if you smiled at me after tomorrow's battle,
I would be much better.
Perhaps.

Thanks for being there when I need you, sister.

Too lazy/tired to blog tonight.
Goodnight folks.










Was it me or were you avoiding my gaze?
Is that a hint of shyness?
Or purely awkwardness?

WARNING: PLEASE TILT HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Today is like confuse-happy-random-weird-excited day.
Yeah, talk about mixed feelings.
Mine's like rojak.

I can't wait for tomorrow!!!
I'm finally dying my hair!
WHOOPEEEEE~
Kat was supposed to accompany me, but she has some project shit.
Then I asked JJ, but Andreas wanted to go.
Yeah long story.

Anyway, this is the last photo of me with virgin hair.
It's gonna make love tomorrow.



Your toy stunned me.
I was wondering if a girl gave that to you,
so much so that you treasured it so deeply.
Kat didn't buy your answer too.
Until I asked, and you said you really did buy it for yourself.
And even brought me there to see where you got it.
Haha, cute.
I guess asking you made me relax more,
assuming sucks,
so people don't assume.
Talking to you, made me realised you are actually a pretty lonely boy.
You need your gadgets and friends.
You know we'll always be here,
so stop assuming that we have no time for you!!!
IF YOU ASK WE'LL HAVE TIME OKAY.
Stupid.

I kinda missed talking to you the past few days when I was trying not to think about you. I'm just trying not to fall deeper in this web of love. Since, I'll only be the one falling and you? I don't even wanna think about the answer. Sometimes I really do miss you like crazy.

Without dance,
I have too much time,
and I start to think.
Think way too much,
thinking about deep stuffs.
I need dance to distract me.
I laugh when I dance,
I get tired when I dance.
At least, it will keep you away frommy mind.
Dance, come back to Mama.

Stage run at Expo later.
Cramps are just killing me.
I hate the PMS too.
Its like robbing me off my energy and smile.
I just wanna lay in bed and rot.

I know you guys think is impossible for me to forget him in such a short period of time.
I'm really trying though.
Initially I didn't plan to just give up,
but I was thinking,
how long would he then give me the answer?
Would it be the answer I want?
What if it was another rejection?
So instead of worrying about the outcome,
I'm using this time to heal myself.
Preparing for a new love :)
Even though I say this,
you still distract me a lot.
*sigh*
Ass :)

I WANNA SWIM.
the weather's friggin' irritating.

Had rehersals today.
I really hate the carpet at TCC,
it makes my whole body itch!
Ugh.
I was dancing halfway when I felt this sharp pain on my toe,
being Sam,
I decided to ignore it right till the end.
Then I realised it was bleeding.
I still said :"No wonder I felt the pain.".
Dumb things people say when they are hungry.
Lol.
I have a major returing injury.
My stupid ankle.
The nerves have been hurting since last week's rehersal.
Damn it!!!

P.S I'm so glad with my Fred Flare buys. Loving it!

Perhaps deep inside,
I'm already learning to let go.
The conversation that night didn't hurt at all.
I was more stunned by my bravery I guess.
Thanks for listening :)

What Gin said was true,
"If it's not yours, let it go."

Goodbye my love.

ignore the previous post.
i was drunk.
goodnight people.
ciao~

Sometimes I really wonder what am I here for.
I preach about faith.
And I'm losing it fast.
I don't wanna fall.
It's just that your ignorance really hits me hard.
I have never felt so ugly in my life.
Someone just give me a hand,
pull me up from all these falling debris.
I'm stuck in a rut.
I can't help feeling like this.
When it comes to emotions,
all of me just falls apart.
Are you still in love with her?
What's with this jealousy that I don't understand.
You never say anything about you anymore.
I don't get it,
why am i still waiting.
Oh you don't know how much you mean to me.
I think I'm just ugly and tomboyish and just FUCKING UGLY, fugly for short.
Goodbye.

You don't know how many times I said goodbye to you in my heart.

Just saw what you wrote.
We all believe in you.
You know that,
so now you just gotta convince yourself that too.
Come on now,
there's no reason to run away.
There's just the present for you to start running towards it.
Go boy go!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope I'm not one of the problems.LOL

Love this song.

Frente - Bizzare Love Triangle

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through
Into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I forgot a Mum's day update.
You can say I was alone.
With no family.
Katherine Lim Xue Hui accompanied me for dinner.
Thanks love.
Meanwhilee she's trying to suck you outta my head.
SUCK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ciao~

I feel like emo fuck these days.
Especially when I read this blog.
I shan't think too much.
It's just taking up to much brain capacity and focus.
I'm afraid of so many things.
People getting tired of me.
Body injuries.
Dropping of grades.
Not seeing my family.
Rats, Cats and Birds.
And of cos you when you're thinking too much,
or when I don't talk to you often.

You know,
I'll probably try until I run out of love.
You're just a boy, not yet a man.
But why do I see hope from you?
You know you can if you want to.
That's all, good night.

Hey hey,
it's been quite some time.
I have tonnes to update!!!!!
Anyway, I just came home from TBg training,
Gin's style changed again.
I feel the need to go for LA classes every Thursday at OSchool.
Can you believe it,
we learnt 4 eighths in like 2 hours?!?
There were like a hundred steps in it though.
Its challenging, but I like it.

Had Dance Orientation 2008 on Saturday.
I had fun working with Kevin,
we like MSNed the night before for some ice-breaking games.
Its really fun, cos Kevin was funny shit.
Heh.
Thanks Kat, Steph and Nelson for helping out.
And of cos AH LEE!!!
Wow, I was trying to avoid her gaze,
had the urge to call her real name,
when she was acting as a fake freshie.
Anyhow, Effing rocks big time.
HAHAHA.
I feel quite sad,
the Group Leaders' didn't managed to perform our Mass Cheer.
It goes like this:
DENG DENG DENG DENG
Don't tell TA MAMA
I'm EFFING like a PORNSTAR
na na na na na.......
LOL.
I had to give mad props to Kaiwen Banks and Royston Klum,
they were like stars of the show.
Hella funny bumbos.
HEHE.
The Mass games were fun tooo.
I had no idea why are we doing it,
I mean there isn't any prize or anything,
and we still followed their instructions,
which were damn lame.
Anyhow,
DOC 2008 was a success!!!!

What exactly am I expecting?
Return of feelings?
You don't even care about me, the way I do about you.
Should I just give up?
You don't know how a simple phonecall can make me happy.
Or how you are willing to send me off will make me fly to the moon.
I guess I'm just falling.
Deeper and deeper into this abyss.
I can't blame anyone but myself for it.
It's not about the hurt,
but I'm just willing to take this risk,
grab an opportunity.
This is how much you mean to me,
do you even realise it?
Will you give me a chance?
Try going out with me?
I wished to ask all these,
but boy am i so afraid.
Afraid that you would just drift further away from me.
Don't you understand?
We are striving to become better in the thing we are passionate about,
so why can't we work together?
On most days I think of you,
the rest of it will be spent on trying to get you outta my head.
I kept telling myself move on,
but why does my heart and mind say no?
I just pray for a chance,
the on day you would give me the green light to ask you out.
Haha, fancy that coming from a girl.
This is bad.
I still like you,
alot.
You could be my sweetest mistake.

Hey people,
I feel so happy today.

I managed to do a double pirouette without falling halfway!!
HAHAHAHAHA.
Lorencia saw it.
I'm really glad with myself.
Even though its like once in a million tries,
but my effort paid off!!
I just smiled myself silly today during dance.
I feel happy,
really happy.
I have no idea why.
Perhpas because I know I'm feeling the dance,
emotions of me facing my problems flowed through my veins.
Break through, break through.
I just want to laugh myself to sleep.
Heh.

I'm so glad that you would call me.
This was enough to make me smile like a cheshire cat.
Double joy.
I want you to be happy too! :)

you know sometimes when you're down and out,
all you can do is think of a special someone.
someone that brought laughter and joy into your life,
making you smile all the time.
you're my special person,
but who's yours?

i'm really happy today.
k.o night has finally came to an end for me and redline managed to get into the finals!!
i'm so happy for them.
what's more, kenny said he was impressed with my freestyle.
that was a double joy.

oyasuminasai!

This is a very weird post.

Mum, I hope you get better.
Just see things in different light,
I'm sure it will begin to widen your views and perhaps lessen the hurt.
I love you, Mum.

Ah Lee, Nicole and JJ are probably one of the few angels that God sent to me on earth.
They all bought me liangteh when I was sick.
THANKS LOADS!!!

Maybe I am expecting too much,
from myself and not much from others.
Its just that I never really depended on someone before,
so how much is too much?
I used to feel awkward to call my friends out of the blue,
but ever since I got to know y'all in dance,
I have been relying alot on you guys.
It's kinda weird that when I pick up my mobile,
I have someone to call too.
It used to be me contemplating,
in the end, being alone.
Now I find alone lonely.
Sometimes when I walk the path to the bus stop,
I think to myself,
this seems lonely.
There are no voices/faces/beings beside me,
and that feels weird.
However,
I get to take my surroundings more into consideration.
Like how there was dog poo on the path,
and I was thisssssss close to stepping on it just now.
Perhaps you won't understand,
but that route means alot to me.

Kat,
its really not easy to be cool.
Being hot is so much easier.

I feel lonely right now.
I think I'm crazy.
Hang out on Sunday anyone?

drawn to you,
intrigued by you,
think about you,
want to see you,
loves talking to you,
want to know you,
crazy about you,
going bananas over you,
AEIOyou
i really like you.

Today I went down to help out for Modern auditions,
I was like gathering all the dancers to the right of the squash court
when I saw two people who are not auditioning sitting there.
So I asked politely if they could shift places.
Instead I got this reply "No, I am already sitting here what."
I was horridly mortified by her remark.
In response I said,"That's very rude."
And she replied "I AM A LECTURER YOU KNOW"
WHOA.
After hearing that, I almot went over my boiling point.
I mean come on, you are a lecturer,
you are supposed to set a good example to the students.
With such an attitude, you are indirectly teaching us students to be like you.
That's why now in this society, impoliteness reigns.
Have you ever heard of courtesy campaigns??????
Why should the government market it so strongly, when they themselves are hiring ill-mannered people to teach us?
It's ridiculous.
I totally changed my impression of certain lecturers.
I always thought they are heart-warming and will guide us with open arms.
But after today I think not.

I picked up someone's phone from the dining table,
I reckon its my mum's or sis.
Was browsing through the music library when I saw this song, 晴天 by 周杰倫.
It made me reminisce about the past.
When Patrick and I were going through this rough period.
He sent me this video with the song as his answer to my questions.
Thinking back I realised we were both so dumb.
I didn't really know him,and we got together,
it happened so fast.
However that 7 months was real sweet,
its like those kinda movies on first love.
Shy and awkward,
kisses on the cheeks and nice warm hugs.
Feelings were real and the relationship was simple.
I can't deny the fact that he broke my heart.
This song brought back alot of memories,
how I cried for him,
how I didn't know how to rely on my friends for help,
how we distanced away,
how he made me so very happy when he sent me this song,
saying come back to me.
Man.. those were the young days.
Heee reminsce, reminsce.


I hope you are happy :)


故事的小黃花
從出生那年就飄著
童年的盪鞦韆
隨記憶一直晃到現在

ㄖㄨㄟㄙㄡㄙㄡㄒ一ㄉㄡㄒ一
ㄌㄚㄙㄡㄌㄚㄒ一ㄒ一ㄒ一ㄒ一ㄌㄚㄒ一ㄌㄚㄙㄡ

吹著前奏望著天空我想起花瓣試著掉落

為妳翹課的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一間
我怎麼看不見
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍
沒想到失去的勇氣我還留著
好想再問一遍
妳會等待還是離開

颳風這天
我試過握著妳手
但偏偏
雨漸漸
大到我看妳不見
還要多久
我才能在妳身邊
等待放晴的那天
也許我會比較好一點
從前從前
有個人愛妳很久
但偏偏
風漸漸
把距離吹得好遠
好不容易
又能再多愛一天
但故事的最後妳好像還是說了拜拜