I'm having a fever now.
Like wow.
I just want to fall into bed.
An sleep..
and sleep...
and sleep..........

I don't like people talking behind my back.
Just tell me.
I know i will be affected in some ways,
but that doesn't mean I will crumble and fall.

I don't like assumptions.
I'm in for clarifications.
Just ask and you will know the real reason.

I tried talking to God last night.
I found some answers to my question.
What about the many more I have inside?
I wish you could read my mind.
I can't fall in love with her, cos You are more important.
But I want to reliquish the feeling of getting loved once again.
How?
God, give me an answer to my unsolvable question.

Lastly I wish my friends happiness.
To Nicole, I'm here for you :)
To Jasmine, Goodluck for JAE!!
To Andreas,stop blaming yourself and start asking questions!!
To myself, GO FOR IT!

Hey guys latest updates on my 18th birthday celebrations.

Okay as you guys know, it will be a Pajamas themed party.
As you know my organiser for this party, Nicole, is such a kind soul.
She has decided that there will be prizes given out for the
BEST DRESSED FEMALE AND BEST DRESSED MALE
that night.

So people, don't be a party pooper, put on your Pajamas and have a hella good time!

By the way there will be some games that night, so I hope y'all will be sporting enough to play them :D

Anyway the food will be ready around 6pm.
So be early if you want to feel full!!!

I'm so looking forward to this Saturday and I hope you guys are too :)

P.S Dancers if you guys want to dance, I suggest someone to bring a speaker.
ALSO please inform me who's coming via the tagboard.
Thanks!!!

Hey guys my birthday party will be on the 2nd of February 2007

Venue: Downtown East Chalet (Sorry you guys have to pay $1 for entry.)
Will confirm with you guys the block and room when I check in.
Time: 6pm.
Theme/Dress Code: PJs

Those who are staying over please tell me in advance. :)


PLEASE COME AND BRING ME TONNES OF PRESENTS. LOL.
SEE Y'ALL THERE!

Hey people I've gotten food poisoning on the first day of my period.
Wow.
This is the second time that this has happened to me.
I pray for y'all's health since projects submission is nearing.
All the best.

Oh man.
I strained my tendon of the right shoulder.
Now i have problems wearing my clothes, taking them off, showering, scratching and even popping/locking/latin dancing.

Dudes, please do not carry heavy school bags on one side of your shoulder.
It will result in my condition.
I am serious, that was my diagnosis.

Went to City Harvest Church today with Gin and Xuehui and their cell group members.
You can say that I learnt alot after today's prayer.
After yesterday's breakdown, I finally understood what Gin was trying to explain to me.
I have a past that I need to forgive unconditionally and also a future to focus and embrace.
It is time for me to let go of the past and head into 2008 with a fresh start.
I realised, I seemed to depict myself living in 2007.
I have yet to move on from that amazing year.
God gave me many great things in 2007.
I have amazing buddies, dance experiences and an above average school grade.
This year, instead of living in my cage, I am going to step up and experience more things God has in store for me.
I do not want to whine, "Oh how I wish I can go back in the past."
I want to smile and say "I am looking forward to tomorrow.".


To all my friends who have shown concern for me before and after my breakdown.
And whenever I have problems, thank you.
Sorry forlying all these while, I am sensitive yet insensitive.
I crave for care whenever the time of the month is coming or I will just push you away.
I hate waiting for people, it just pisses me off. Cos' I feel like the whole world is condemning me. LOL.
But people can wait for me though. HAHAHAHHA.

Bei, Andreas, Iris, Kat and Kaiwen; I never told you guys this, but most of the time when we hang out, I feel very very very happy. :)

Erina, Ham, Chee, Esther and Try; you guys really save my ass during tutorials and lectures. Without you all, I think I would have quit school a long time ago.


To my mother who I have also felt this strong sense of resentment,
I want to forgive you for all those hurt you have caused me, dampening my spirits, causing both of us and the family so much pain.
I cannot say that I will forget, but I will forgive.
Cos you are my mother afterall.
Due to pride I never really had a chance to say this to both you and Dad, I love you guys alot.
More than anything.
So please do not claim that I do not love you, ask yourself this have you ever once said that you loved me too?


To my annoying as hell sister.
Actually most of the time I enjoy your company. :)

To everyone out there who is reading this,
Forgive the past and embrace the future!
God bless.

Just let me cry tonight.
I'll feel much better tomorrow.

Argh it's a wonder how you can make me so fucking pissed so early in he morning.
If you did not want Dad to celebrate my 18th birthday why on't you say so first?
You just only know how to keep my hopes too high and spoil my mood.
Do you know for every occasion you just ruin people's moods?
You never seem to be happy.
Always.
Just shut the fuck up.





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i feel much better now.

I don't want to think so much.
But you're making me so confused all the time.
What exactly do you want?
My body? Companionship?
Ugh.
You're just lying again.

I so regret going for dinner.
My dad had to drive all the way from Punggol to Tampines to pick me up in his old lorry.
Why old?
The new tires are not working well perhsps cos the lorry is old.
He used his remaining strength in concentrating on the drive home.
I'm so sorry dad.
The lorry probably skidded a thousand and one times.
And he had to try and get it back on lane.
So sorry, I'm really very sorry.

Forget it.
Fuck celebrating some 18th birthday.
Yeah just simply fuck it.

I thought I could manage my abilities well.
I guess I was overconfident.
Look what is happening to me now.
Everyone's improving, except me.

My 2008 resolutions:
1) Lose 10kg
2) Improve in dance - able to balance my headstand and get to perform in showcase and competitions
3) Do well in studies
4) Be a better friend :)

It's funny how last year went by so quickly and now its 2008.
2007 has been a particularly good year for me.
I got into TP,
managed to get into TPDE hiphop and modern,
did okay for my studies,
danced in O School Recital,
met new foreign friends (T.C bboys and bgirl D),
and of course all the precious friends that I have now.

I am glad that God managed to make my sickeningly boring life filled with so many people that i can cherish and love. Perhpas its because of them that I have the will to do things and motivation to strive. Though sometimes it just puts me down and makes me even more upset that certain people just do not understand. Oh well, that is already in 2007.

I started 2008 with handshakes and hugs, dancing outside Escape theme park, practising our concert items, going to my FIRST techno party(which sucked) and having my first bath at 3am. How cool. Lol. I hope this year will be a great year as I would like to achieve many things that will need to push myself to the limit. Hopefully I will be able to handke them well. If not I can just ide in my shell again. Heh.

Anyway people, Happu 2008~
Loves <3