i wish i could not care about them
i wish that time can backtrack past
i wish the world's not such a horrible place
but my wishes can never come true.

i do not know how to explain this
but why do people pass on?
i wish i could help suz ease her sadness
but it is difficult
i believe she is a strong girl
and she'll be able to cope with this
hopefully.

after the visitng the casket
that night i couldn't sleep
i told pap that i would sleep early
i ended up sleeping at 2am in the morning
i reckoned i heard something
it was like this faint handphone ring tone
it was loud at first
then it got softer
but i know it wasn't anyone in my family's phone
creepy i thought
then i thought of suz
tears
lying in bed eyes wide open
i just couldn't sleep

i am scared
i don't want anything like this to happen to daddy
or mummy
or that lil brat at home
i got so scared that i stolen his packet of cigs
it's lying in my drawer now
what should i do?
discard it?
tell me.
what should i do?