can you satisfy me?

baby you drive me crazy.

Forever Love - X Japan

all that is in my heart is this melody.

oh sing for me-
once more.

crying again.
loud and pained.
like your heart being ripped in shreds.

was reading James Patterson's Suzanne's Diary For Nicholas
and i literally bawled my eyes out.
the same for Sam's Diary To Jennifer, by the same author.
it's heart-wrenching yet heart-warming at the same time.
somehow the people in his books tend to get over death at the end of the story.
i mean, that's great for them,
but in reality, will i ever be able to do that in matter of time?
two years, five years,
however long it takes,
will i be able to move on?

i am scared of death.
especially if it occurred to someone close to me.
i don't know how i will be able to move on
i really don't.
so i pray,
all the time,
that they come back safe and sound.
selfish?
probably.

A Poem Extracted From Suzanne's Diary To Nicholas

Who makes the treetope wave their hands?
And draws homeships from foreign lands,
And spins plain straw back into gold
And has a love too large to hold...

Who chases the rain from the sky?
And sings the moon a lullaby,
And grants the wishes from a well
And hears who songs sung from a shell...

Who has the gift of making much?
From everthing they hold or touch,
Who turns pure joy back into life?
For this I thank my son, my wife.

spinning spinning
my vision has gone hazy
this whirlpool,
this blackhole,
is sucking me in.

pictures of memories,
the shattered past,
and the short-lived present,
have come to bid goodbye.

i dance in circles
like a merry-go-round.
listening to the inaudible melody
playing inside my very own jukebox.
bass beats flow throughout my body,
feeling it, feeling this,
something so sacred and precious
that's only meant for me.

longing, longing
this desire to hold you,
is killing me.

i am a little disturbed by advancejoker's words
seriously i have no idea which part of our costume on Teacher's Dayis skanky
we wore hoodies, long pants..
HELLO?!!?
that is conservative alright!
i guess he has been living in a well.
you should go take a look at public dance performances
and you'll know the difference
his words really sent me pondering in my little word,
if that wear is not conservative enough,
i really cannot think of another costume that will beat that
seriously.
sometimes before you make a comment or say something out loud,
make sure you give your reasons on how we can improve
do not just blatantly state that "oh it's skanky"
without even giving ideas of improvements.
what more, if you can come out with an outfit more conservative than that
i'll take my hats off you.

anyway, who cares man, seems like he's the only one who said such stuff.
mad props to all who cheered and supported us that day!