Sunday, April 19, 2009

i know it's another emo blog entry at this hour again.

I don't know what's wrong with me seriously. Am i disillusioned by the fact that I have just read 2 heart-wrenching novels and therefore decide to plunge myself into the depths of Sadness Valley, or I am just thinking too much? It's amazing how my brain works, one day I think I am Supergirl and the next day I feel like a pebble on the road, being run over by countless vehicles.

I don't know why am I so emotionally attached to you. It's natural for me to feel this way, but is it becoming too dangerous? Perhaps, overly dependent for comfort, companionship and love? I don't know why. It can be a good or bad thing I guess, good in way whereby you know that my love for you is true, bad cos' I ain't giving you enough space.

Fuck SAM!

I just don't feel that you need me the way I need you. And that my actions are causing a huge strain on my emotions and our relationship, to the point whereby I thought of giving it all up. Looking on the bright side, it isn't your fault but mine. Shit seriously. How am I gonna survive when you go to NS? I've been advising you to down pes so that you can come out and see me...
Is it for myself, or is it for you?

Is this love getting to poisonous? I must learn to leave without you, learn to walk to without you and go about doing things without you.

I can.
I can.
I can.

All I want right now is to snuggle in your arms and you to tell me that you love me. Things that you say rarely. It's impossible.

Even though we're in sunny Singapore, we are still miles away.

Okay shit, on a second thought. I think I'm getting afraid of relationships/marriages/whatever that is. I just don't wanna live with the fact that someday you'll leave me.

Can you reassure me? I'm in a big state of a mess.

I love you.

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