don't judge, don't assume, just don't

left out left out left out.
no matter how many times he has repeatedly told me to stop hurting myself,
but i just gotta accept the fact.
that it is what it is.

i hurt myself more then anyone, why?

if i was prettier, smarter, skinnier, have a beautiful heart.
perhaps i would love myself more.
i feel disgust that every time i look into the mirror i feel like smashing it.
or worst still removing the person that is staring back at me.

i want to achieve this yet i can't.
i want to do this yet i fear.
i want to become something and i don't know how.
this is not me... it is not me...

now i am broke and hungry,
and i am wearing thin.
it is like an emotional battle every single time.
with yourself.