the end

Gonna close this site down soon.

Okay, not close it but abandon it.

These past years,

my memories,

I have left footprints all over here.

Yes, I will miss this space.,

This space that contained so much of you,

the chase,

being together,

and the breakup.

My heart is breaking as I type this,

and of cos,

I can't control the tears.

Inside of me still flows with so much emotions for you.

It's been what,

9 months?

It pains me,

every time I come back here and read all about you.

When the love was good,

when the love was strong.

I miss you so much,

I still do.

I should quit acting strong in front of my friends.

Just when I thought I was truly happy,

Life then comes around and fuck the hell outta me.

Just that,

I can't seem to cry in front of people anymore.

I can't seem to cry about the things that are hurting me.

My heart has turned into a void,

a blackhole,

that vacuums everything bad,

and storing it somewhere within my soul.

I just wondered if you still cared?

Did you know that I was waiting for your text on my birthday?

Even as a friend,

you can't even be bothered.

So the memories we had,

amounted to nothing?

I never realized I was dating a cold hearted person,

until our breakup.

Our friends said the same thing.

So I guess I ain't being bias right?

Even after all that,

I still long for you.

It's either I am stupid,

or my heart is too big.

Moving to tumblr.

Goodbye.

Romance in the air...

So tomorrow's Valentine's Day, other than smart marketing campaigns and what not, how are you spending it with?
This year I kinda expected a pretty solemn affair.
Just me and my single ladies, attending open classes and having dinner! That will probably be good enough for me!

Somehow, this year, I managed to score a date! Haha.
I guess you can say I am a little bit excited.
It's like breath of fresh air for me.
So other than dates and spending money on gifts and such,
Have you reflected what you did for your loved ones?
What is your most romantic experience?
What was the most romantic thing that you did?

For me, my most romantic experience happened in the most unexpected situation.
I don't know if the other party felt it.
But I felt the romance, passion and love. :)
It happened about 2-3years ago?
I was looking after a sick boy on a vacation and he was sleeping beside me, sniffing, coughing and all.
I help feed him his medication and other herbal teas etc.
When we were sleeping, he rolled over and hugged me from behind and said:
"Thank you for looking after me, I love you."
And kissed me.
That was probably one of the best things that happened to us. :)

As for me, even though I am a very practical and realistic person.
I am
A sucker for romance.
Tell me which girl isn't!
I think I played a fair bit as the part of being a good girlfriend.
So I really have no regrets!

Well they say that when one relationship ends, it's an opening for a better and more stable one.
I didn't regret anything apart from how I could have given him more space. But still it's a good learning journey! :)

Okay, I am kinda excited for my early date tomorrow!
Gonna rest early!
Goodnight folks! :)

~love is in the air.

One Two, Twenty Two!

Geez I'm turning twenty two tomorrow.

Somehow birthdays seem less exciting after you pass 21...

Kinda not expecting anything this year, birthdays for me have always been a very low and unexciting event. Haha.

Okay, I shall stop moping in my misery.

This year I shall celebrate it at Zouk!

Did that for my 20th!

Hope this year will be something different,

something exciting,

and of cos I don't wanna get drunk and be a merlion.

Just gonna have some pure fun and maybe get free drinks?? *wink wink*

Somehow, I feel a little lonely that this year you're not around to take me out on my birthday.

My friends have been asking,

what do I want for my birthday?

Hmm I guess that would be an alone time with you?

At least let my heart have a closure to this.

I don't know if we can be friends,

I read somewhere that if two past lovers are still friends after a breakup,

it's either that they never fell in love with each other at all,

or they are still in love with each other.

Judging from what they tell me about you,

I know I don't exist in your life anymore.

And I know I gotta bloody move on..........................

I think I'm ready to fall in love again,

I feel ready to go on dates with other men again.

Just somewhere in my heart,

the memories of you still linger.

It's impossible to forget entirely,

but those lovely sweet memories,

I really cherished them.

Yes, I really do feel like I have lost a bestfriend.

Guess that's what till date that hurts me the most.

That aside,

Dearest friends,

I want a hunk for my birthday. Haha.

I want a soul mate.

I want to eat awesome buffet at Shangri La Hotel - The Line.

I want a new watch.

I want a new wallet.

I want hope.

I want love.

I want a pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes.

I want abs and a V shape body.

I want my body fats to magically disappear.

I want my C-cup boobs back. LOL.

I want a holiday trip.

I want my NY/LA trip to be confirmed.

I want $$$$$$$$$$$.

Most of all, I just want to be happy.

Okay, I am so hungry now.

Shall run, do a workout and EATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

making love to what was then.

Yes, so I've been thinking about you again.

How I would like you to hold me in your arms,

falling asleep,

feeling the sound of your breath on the nape of my neck.

How you would lightly kiss me on my forehead,

and whisper "I love you" in my ears.

Everything seemed so perfect then,

and now it just became a dream.

My friends wanted to kill me when I told them that I still love you.

I guess that's kinda expected.

For one, I don't know how to not love you.

You consumed so much of my life and I guess you could say I was obsessively in love with you.

Somehow the words "Can we start over?",

is at the edge of spilling out of my mouth.

It's just another dream.

We were so good together.

And that goodness was perfect while it lasted.

I don't even know if you'll be reading this,

but what I have been wanting to tell you is,

"Yes, I still love you."