everyone is living for money.
it seems like its the only thing we cannot do without.
(whatever happened to love and relationships?).
honestly,
i would rather have the connections i made with people.
however,
when you're with them,
you tend to want to provide more things for them.
this is where money comes in AGAIN.
a vicious cycle indeed.
on a side note,
i'm really loving the Harajuku Lovers fragrance by Gwen Stefani.
they come in Gwen, Love, Angel, Music and Baby.
each fragrance smells different and is meant to represent Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku dancers.
well, for a Harajuku fan like me,
I can't help but wanna collect them!!!!
they cost a bomb though.
perhaps this could be a Christmas present for myself,
at least I know what i am saving for :)
super kawaii~
dance has been smooth sailing.
recital choreography is finally done.
i ain't too sure about certain steps.
must really work harder than the rest of them.
i gave myself a new goal for this coming recital.
i wanna achieve it.
there has been so many obstacles in my way,
but i'm still fighting.
yes, so what if i sit and cry about it sometimes?
i just find it as a form of release,
so that i'll be back on my feet stronger.
thanks to all that understand,
and special thanks to certain special people that has always been there.
oh by the way,
i was watching telly just now with my cousins and daddy.
my lil female cousin was sitting next to me,
trying to tickle me with her small hands,
using her chin to rub my bruise,
and occasionally lying flat on top of me,
gigling like a kuku.
i just find her so adorable.
like when she wanted to get on the other side of the couch,
she asked me to help her do a cartwheel over(my body).
LOL.
they were watching some programme on OKTO and when it ended she said:
Lil Cousin: Why the TV show end already but Ahma still hasn't finish talking?
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
so cuteeeeeeeee.
i just wanna wrap her in my arms and hug her to sleep.
lol.
been having bad dreams lately.
one about my dad being tortured,
another about him(i can't remember),
i only know i woke up crying.
and recently of the boyfriend.
i dreamt that i was playing something that goes round/ice-skating,
then he wasn't in the rink but outside of it.
the weird thing is this bespectacled, demure looking girl was standing in front of him.
like body on body kind.
she was like coming on to him and stuff,
he didn't reject it.
then after my ride ended,
i walked up to them,
she saw me and left.
i asked him why he didn't reject her,
he said...(i can't remember.LOL).
if i'm not wrong he didn't know how to reject her,
and kept asking for my forgiveness.
LOL.
then i woke up.
scared me like shit man,
this dream.
i don't want it to happen.
i told him about it,
and he said in a funny cute way "Okay, let's not go ice-skating then."
heh.
:)))))))))))))))))))
i wonder if the dream is trying to make me aware of the insecurity inside me.
i don't know man.
i admit there's times where i feel like this,
but i always win myself over by reminding myself to trust him.
anyway we already talked about it,
this is something i have to overcome.
i wonder why i feel like this,
is it cos people i love always leave me?
anyway, this relationship isn't just about me me me me me.
i realised i tend to be more aware of his feelings and other people's too.
how they look at us,
how they feel that they are interrupting,
how he feels when other guy touch me etc.
it's complicated in a good, sublime way.
it's like dancing,
getting to know your body better.
it's amazing when you realise how much you can do for someone,
much isn't even the word to describe it.
more than much,
much more that much.
at times i feel that i'll scare him away by saying heartfelt thoughts,
but somehow he has always been here.
i never knew love coud be so delicate and haunting at the same time.
words,
can be so powerful.
that's why i've always like hearing sweet conversations.
it fills me :)
anyhoo,
i've ranted alot today.
shall end with a nice song and a funny video.
:)
Artist: Matt Nathanson
Album: Some Mad Hope
Title: Come On Get Higher
I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in
If I could walk on water
If i could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you whats next
Make you believe
Make you forget
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I feel the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils and god when you come on
Hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on....
(sing shaa la la la laa
Ouuu)
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
And the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me
Drown me in love
It's all wrong
It's all wrong
It's all wrong, its so right
Come on get higher
Come on and get higher
Because everything works love
Because everything works in your heart
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
HAHAHAHHAHAA.
Super funny.
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