hiya.. hmM.. 2nd day tt me & pat br0ke up le.. cried and th0ught about it the wh0le aftern0on, everytime my frens tell me t0 not think ab0ut it, i will remember an occasion where we are t0gether, like lo0kin at the stars at night, lying on the roofgarden, g0ing to little india t0gether during deepavali, spending xmas t0gether, walking at orchard r0ad, all the crap & nonsense we talk till dawn, us playing bball t0gether, having fun last year.. s0 much... i'm g0ing to take it sl0wly bah.. alth0ugh this relationship is a failure, but he cann0t stop me fr0m liking him... i am h0ping f0r a miracle t0 happen again, just wish that almighty g0d would bless us once again.. didn't eat f0r almost the wh0le day, spent it on crying, d0in homew0rk & thinking...i am s0 glad that we c0uld stand an0ther chance again... i think i've fallen s0 deep in l0ve & g0t shattered that's why i never ever wanna l0ve any0ne when we first stead... But after i met pat, i realise that pe0ple do n0t appreciate things, s0me stuff y0u let g0.. it'll be g0ne 4ever.. Loving him is the m0st unregretful decisi0n i ever made in my life, alth0ugh it br0ke my heart which is still hurting n0w, I am s0 glad that i was with him... Great catch, great guy,t0 me he is just perfect.. You guys may object or what s0 ever... but he really changed my life tremend0usly.. He gave me h0pe, supp0rt, care & l0ve, m0re than i can ask f0r..Probably, the saddest thing w0uld be that he thinks i g0t a thing with bryan?? When he t0ld me that, i wanted t0 tell him that i have s0lely loved him f0r all my life... Yet he said that, which means.. he d0es n0t trust me? More or less, i am als0 upset that he wants t0 end our relationship just like that, i th0ught we w0uld last, h0ld on... y0u kn0w that sorta thing? Hope that we w0uld patch up one day bah.. be it one week, one m0nth or even a year, i w0uld be waiting f0r him... i cann0t seem to f0rget ab0ut him in just a day 0r tw0... He's special... You know that? i really am trying my best t0 forget about the sweet mem0ries we used to share, trying t0 move on with my life, but there was s0 much happiness i experienced last time.. Will I be able to experience it again? With him? Read our chatlogs again... Really miss him al0t alot... I d0n't wish to cry f0r him, but the tears just dr0p out naturally.. the only time when i am happy is when we talk.. Pat, please give us a chance in the future won't ya? May not be right n0w or anything.. But please if y0u still like me give us a chance.. I sound so desperate.. But only desperate f0r him bah... if only i said i did n0t wanna listen t0 wateva he said last night, if only i did n0t agree t0 break up... But will we be happy? Haix.. just need him... So sad, i just cannot believe our l0ve was this sh0rt... reading the 0ld chatl0gs, made me wanna burst out in tears again... I still love him al0t.. Hope god will give us a chance... Haix. 7 months... So much stuff happened... Now it's like ain't any better, kn0wing that i l0ve u.. but i can't have u... dunn0 wat to d0.... life sux.... Thanks pat... f0r all tt u have d0ne...

blastin' Sheryl Cr0w's - First Cut is the Deepest

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side

just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest