hope

in such unruly weathered times,
where hope seems to dissipate among the fog,
lightning strikes onto this wounded flesh.

it beats fast,
before slowing down to a rhythmic pattern.
stopping when you hold your breath for too long,
mine seems to ache like no other wound did before.

the picture that i see,
with the occasional sightings,
changes from day to night,
and night to day.
the buidlings on the opposite side of the road,
is still standing tall today.
why is it only the lives we had that changed?

time, where is it going to bring us to?
our roads once intertwined,
are we gonna lose our way?

what is there left for us to see?
when hope is lost in this family.
the faith that i have,
is not enough for this family tree?

i'm running,
running into whatever that wants to deal with me.
just that, this running could never be reality.

God, I question you so many times,
why must this happen to me?
It's hurting me more than I can ever live with.
does happiness still stand a chance with me?
what will our future be?
what's gonna happen from now on?
please don't take anyone i love away from me.

Guys and girls, who even bother to read my blog.
You know how we grow up in phases of our life whereby we were so rebellious and undaunting?
How we rebuked our parents and hated them for whatever they did?
I'm telling you to forgive them for what they did,
no matter how much they scolded
and how much they have hurt,
please forgive them.
Especially when they did something wrong.
when you're like me now,
you look back and see how much they have greyed,
the lines on their face increasing,
the sadness in their heart which they have kept.
my father, he is a man of pride.
he never once admits his mistake in 18 years of my life.
he's kooky and uncanny, plus a little too straightforward.
and that's what I loved about him.
Yesterday,
he apologised to me.
For every wrong thing that he did.
How can I not forgive?
i love him too much to let him go.
the sight of him now is even more painful.
how much he blamed himself,
how he wouldn't forgive himself despite me telling him i forgave him.
Guys, if you ever have a rough relationship with your parents or are not close with them.
I urge you to reach out to them more.
Talk to them,make up with them and listen to them.
Afterall, they are the ones who love you the most.
More than person in this world.

thanks to Joey, Steph, Royston, Ahlee, Nelson, Meichin, Keith, Nicole and Gin for all those encouraging text messages and tags.
i am keeping my faith up. :)