random rants

hello world.
i think i'm sick of saying sorry(s),
and i'm tired of listening to people saying things about me.
you can say whatever you like,
demanding, fussy, unhappy.
they are all your presumptions.
even if you are kidding,
like what the hell, you don't even know the clear picture of everything.
so i cannot be bothered to entertain either.

in fact,
from today onwards,
i am going to start saying thank you(s).
it's a more positive outlook.
i know i will have to go through alot.
that's why i have to be strong.
i cannot depend on anyone else but myself when i'm pursuing my happiness.
and i've decided to give myself more "me-time".
it's impossible to have everything in life,
but if you really want it,
anything is possible.

okay from now onwards,
- i am going to start doing my school work,
i feel relatively stupid after the holidays.
i'm quite happy i got 40/50 for RM :)
not sure about the rest thoug :S

-i am going to stop feeling insecure in my relationship with my boyfriend.
it's ruining my mental health.
it's time consuimg.
if he cheats on me, it's his loss. LOL. hahaha.
joking. i love you kaiwen!

-i am going to open my heart.
so that my blur boyfriend will understand me better :)
to accomplish goals in dance.
start being ugly again.
i love being ugly, it's so natural and carefree and so me.
ever since getting a boyfriend, i have been frantically trying to doll myself up,
and make myself more femine.
too bad it doesn't work this way, he's not dating a mannequin.

-i am going to be happy.
so that people around me will be happy too :)

-i will love my family, friends and boyfriend more.
like duh.
who doesn't like extra TLC (tender loving care, for those who don't know.)

-i should stop comparing myself with others.
i am unique.
we are unique.
no 2 persons are the same.

-i should stop denying myself and be more confident.
yes, it's a long-term problem that i've had since young.

all these aren't new year resoluations.
they are a lifetime commitment for me.
they are about people i care about dearly.
i don't wanna be so sad and hurt anymore.
it's tough, in such a situation.
but i'm going to work it out on my own.

thanks all for caring :)
and i hope your throat is much much better now.