Words from the hurt.

Maybe these are just assumptions, I have been wanting to blog about this since last Friday.

How do you gauge a relationship? Be it with your lover, friends and familes. How do you gauge it? It's strange I am talking about this now because, I feel like I have been misunderstanding some things. Or perhaps the other party is.

To me a friend, or maybe some people may term it as close friend, is someone I can call and text easily, meetup to talk about stuffs, just plain hanging out when you are bored and someone that I will not hesitate to spend time with. With that, I already placed them in my circle of friends, this circle of trust that I know they will be there for me no matter what and vice versa.

Perhaps, these are all my wishful thoughts. Perhaps, I am the only one who felt this way. I just find it ridiculous having to segregate into so many layers, to me everyone is the same. Is it because when I did hangout with the others personally, you didn't know about it? Maybe to you guys, it is just plainly termed as hanging out, but to me, I wouldn't even hangout with you if I was not comfortable talking about such topics. All those times were in fact very significant and memorable to me, though short-lived.

How about you girls? I never know how you all feel. I guess I trust and really put my soul in it when it comes to forging relationships. It's just hurtful when things does not appear like how you always think it would be.

I don't understand why must things be so complicated when it is very simple in reality. It is how you think and choose whatever outcome you want it to be. I'm a very straight-laced person, not that I ain't flexible, I can accept certain changes, however, I ain't a programmed robot. I have feelings too. I don't get it, why other people have such simple relationships and I always seem to be stuck in complicated ones.

If you still don't get my point. Take this example, we have been a very big but close group of friends (or at least, you and i presume we are close.),my birthday is coming. The entire big group persuaded me to throw a birthday party. I say, okay I'll plan it. When it comes to the guestlist,I decided, I only want my so-called "closest of the closest" friends, so out of the entire big group, I picked 5, you are not included. How would you feel?

I'm just like that girl being leftout now.

Thank goodness for Kaiwen, even though he is an ass sometimes, he cures my loneliness and makes me happy.

I think that's all I want right now, Happiness.