Lethargic

It's 7.44am in the morning,
and I just got back from TBG training.
We had no studio, no place,
so we decided to take it to the streets.
Literally.
We danced where the homeless slept(Istana Park) and outside of O School.
Mad shit.
Mad props to Rahim for keeping us focused
when we were high/sleepy/mixture of both
on the verge of banging our heads onto whatever is in our way while we sleep-walked.
I hope everyone will remember what we have cleaned up,
especially me.
See you guys for training later at 3pm!


I really felt like screaming just now.
I swear, I spouted 928346762966569265 swear words while on the way meeting the TBG people.
In my heart that is.
I just feel so unhappy at home.
It's always like this,
I am always forgotten.
No matter where,
at home, with friends.
I don't know if its because of me or what,
but I'm really affected by it.
It's been 18 years.
Yet I feel like I don't belong in this family sometimes.
God has been encouraging me, giving me faith for acceptance.
Faith for wisdom to say the right words.
I tell you,
I was so angry that my jaws are still aching.
Imagine how hard I clenched my teeth.
It's even possible to bite of my tongue with that strength.

I feel that things aren't going the way for me.
Love. Live. Studies. Dance. Family
Maybe I am hoping and expecting alot from myself.
I don't know...
I just wished I can find someone that I can scream and talk to in times like this.
And that person will always be there to hear me,
support me,
encourage me
ad kick my ass if I feel like dying.
God send your angels down please!!!!!!!!!!
SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Bye world~

Oh yeah,
Steph came out of the blue just now to support us while we trained.
That's so sweet of her.
I'm sure everyone appreciated it alot!
Loves~