Thoughts about God

My head hurts~
This is what I get for not getting enough sleep.
Ugh.
Anyway, there's training tomorrow at O School.
Yay!
We have alot to clean up and alot more to work on.

Anyhow, today during cell,
Kenny talked about Servanthood.
How we should be servants to others and God himself.
Its funny how this has been in my thoughts for so long,
how come I am so willing to serve my friends and not Him?
Is it because I don't know how to?
Or is it because he is not visible to my eye?
I have been thinking,
I have been doing so much,
most of the time I don't expect things in return,
but I get really annoyed when I see someone selfish.
It's like how I wish everyone could be so giving to all.
But then again, not everyone is saved.

Bit by bit,
I am slowly erasing you from my life.
We are still friends, and I guess this is how the story ends.
I'm waiting for the day where all your messages go into the trash can.
I'm trying slowly, but its tough.
I can actually see the future for us,
supporting you, caring for you..
but its only on my part.
Its sad to know that I am not the one who can guide you,
be the one you'll think of with the feelings you have now.
There's so much hope,
but you're not opening up your heart.
I shan't say further.
Need sleep.