zomg

i'm tired and on the verge of falling ill.
my throat is as inflammed as a baboon's backside.

p.s hey nicholas, take care on your trip! bon voyage~


by the way baby, you look really charming yesterday at the zoo :)

we gotta make it work.

we talked, it's all good now. we'll try and work this relationship out together. it's tough cos we don't know what the future has in store for us, but love will keep us strong.

i finally realised that you care for me. you don't express it out often, but subtlely through your actions and your eyes. yes, eyes are really windows to your soul. i saw something different today, the saddest eyes that i have ever seen. on you. i can't hold back, tears hit me in the back of my head. you said you will never cry in front of me, and then this. baby at that moment, i felt like i've hurt you so bad. we hurt each other so bad, but we love each other so much.

i'll change my partying ways. in the first place i go because i wanna have fun with my girls and i'm the most sober. i don't really fancy drunken dancing. the main purpose of clubbing for me is to enjoy with my girls and dissect the layers of music, aiding in my freestyle. that's why i hate squeezing in the middle of the dance floor. i rather stand at the edge and do my own thing.

you'll take more initiative in this relationship, so that i will not be the one constantly asking you out or texting you. perhaps making me feel more secure in this relationship.

you say you don't understand me, neither can i understand you. it's made this way cos its the way of life. this is why realtionships are forged for people to get to know each other better. in this life time, nobody can understand you better than yourself. so we gotta communicate that across to others, to let them know your feelings.

today onwards, let's be a better person for each other and work even harder to fill up the missing 10%.

i love you very much.

i am giving you this chance.
its up to you to want it or not.
before today ends to take the initiative.

i have never vs. TOD

okay i just go home, at what 2pm? lol.
after a night out with my flygirls~
jacuzzied.

started sleeping at 7am, joey baby didn't sleep at all.
and i'm really pooped and feel like puking, i drank too much.

i'm very drenched now.
just walked home in the rain.
okay, gotta shower, before mum screams.

and so you didn't call.

let's get down and dirty tonight

so i had a photoshoot yesterday for my dance profile. It's not a professional one.

cos..

1. It was done at home.

2. Bad camera!

3. Lousy lighting.

4. The backdrop is kinda bad.

Okay, any takers to do another one for free? With a better camera, good background and awesome lighting! Please email me at samansarii@gmail.com. Thanks! Will acknowledge you :)

Anyhoo, i still decided to post the pictures up. Pardon me, it's kinda bad. Cos of the background!!!

You wanna know why I'm angry? You don't even bother asking why and what should we do. No, it's just another day for you. You'll go have your fun and I'll have mine. Is this what you want? Sorry, if I am the only one who is feeling disturbed by it, but I care. Unless you ask me to stop caring for you, I will perhaps just do whatever that you wanna do.

You seem surprise that on the phone i seem nonchalent and okay with it, you know why? Cos' if I say something, you will say I'm being demanding. Yes, I cannot say what my feelings are anymore, I will just hurt you. How stupid of me, I got hurt too. When I receive the text from my darling saying she had already made plans since I called off the meet-up, I felt so... I don't know. I haven't seen her for years and I called it off just to go out with you. In the end? I got nothing. Staying at home the entire day alone.

And you, maybe its a wrong idea to meet-up with my friends in the first place. Perhaps I wouldn't feel like you don't want your friends to know me. Haha, then it got me thinking am i too ugly, fat, weird...????????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate being a girl sometimes.

Okay i'm going to get drunk at the club later with my darlings. I hope Kat or some kind soul will send me home. This is my last ladies night before concert training starts, so allow me to get drunk (though i doubt i will, i take precaution all the time).

Kat if you're reading, I'll allow you to make "guan" me only for tonight.

HAHAHAHA.

BYE.

i cannot be pissed.

all i can say is anything,up to you.
do i have the right to say anything?

the joy you had in your voice,
just send me this vibe.
i thought i was let in into your life,
but no,
i am still shut out.

whatever.

don't say that i didn't include you.
i wanted you to come.
but you chose something else,
don't blame me for it.

and i'm upset cos' i cancelled plans with my girlfriend to hang out.
it's not gonna happen.
and i don't want it anymore.

night prowler

tuesdays are good.

tuesdays seem right.

tuesdays are the best,

cos i'll have you by my side!

yes, i am looking forward to this tuesday so i can meet my heart's desire once again! crashing into his arms, enveloped in a big warm hug, taking in all of his scent. yummy! i want tuesday to be here soon for me to see him, on the other hand, i want this week to last real long so that i can have more of my holidays before concert training starts!

anyway the past few days have been craaaaaaaaaazy. coming home at dawn on most nights, drinking, partying and having fun with nonsensical darlings.

friday night was spent at Phuture, but before that, JJ met up with the very bored and lonely me for a walk around town and to catch up with each other! we met up with meiqi, danny and ahlee at rochor beancurd after that, and proceeded with a series of funnies and achingly-awesome laughters.

yesterday we went for Jae's birthday party at Music Garage. it was quite fun. happy 27th, Jae! all the best in your future endeavours! :D

walked abit around clarke quay after that, before heading home!

okay, heading out to Music Garage AGAIN. thanks to kat. mahjong, jacuzzi session! weeeeeee~

Phuture Escape!

hello world!

yesterday was such an eventful day!

60% of my body hair is finally GONE!
yayness~
thanks to strip co-ed, just sign up to be a model and they will provide free waxing services done by their trainees!
it's pretty awesome, the after effects of the wax, must skin feels soft and smooth, somehow it is glowing and reflecting light at the same time.

so what are you waiting for?
go sign up now!!!

soooo i just got home from Phuture, special thanks to Fattysheep for sending me home in his car! there were tonnes of people, some familiar, most new.

the night started off with me getting burnt by a ciggarette.
damn that woman!!!
it's not like a slight touch, but it was dragged across my hand!!!!!!
ARGH!

luckily i reacted fast, i swept the ashes off my hands asap.
went to the toliet to wash as it was still stinging. soon, i started to forget about it, as there were more things happening.

alot of issues happened, and it was kinda drama, but we managed to get in after that.
kinda sad for the guys cos they came late and tickets for Phuture were sold out, Danny and Weiqiang bought Velvet Underground's tickets, but cannot go in too.
Pangyang waited for his friends, but still no sight of them though it's 2am.

so we dance dance dance in the club.
dance until this dude came up to me and said i dance very well.
then this angmoh was like "hey hey, i like you." to ahleelee, then ahleelee don't wanna dance with him, so she started battling him.
hahahaha. funny shit, everyone literally turned to look.
i can tell the angmoh enjoyed it.

that dude then wanted to tell me something again, but when he did that he accidentally XX(leaving it to your wildest imaginations) me.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
sorry baby.
anyway he said: "You should continue dancing, and not stop.", i smiled at him. Thanks but unhappy thanks for the XX.

danced more and more and more.
hit guys more and more and more.
make me happy more and more and more.
got grinded more and more and more.
got digusted by the army boys more and more and more.
okay not all, but the ones that has the "i wanna feel your body up and down face." guys.
at times, when i see them dancing behind ahleelee or the girls i went with,
my face can't help but scrunch up in horror!
i think my boyfriend is the best!!
yes yes, the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dance until no more strength.
ahleelee need to go home.
sent her off, on the way this group of guys passed us by,
and pointed to me, whilst talking among themselves, "Look this girls cute.....blah blah blah."
Nicole says I'm ugly but adorable :(((((((
me so sad after that.
me so ugly.
me so ugly.
boyfriend, can tell me i'm not ugly???

we headed home after that.
was outside of the club when i saw Gerald.
yes Gerald, my NS cousin whom I haven't seen him in a long time.
anyhoo "HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and we talked.
so funny he talked to Danny too.

Danny and i later proceeded to sitting at a curb, to wait for Pangyang.
As we were waiting, this angmoh guy who just got out of the cab saw me and said: "You're beautiful."
Then he looked over to danny, who was mistaken as my boyfriend and went on.."I love her, do you love her? (Danny was like like nodding to play along. lmao.) If you don't treat her properly, I'm gonna f**king beat up you face, you know that?! I love you too."

HAHAHAHAHA.
Effing drunktards.
it was hilarious, cos we saw his friend like downing more beer into his throat after that.
oh well, but i'm always open for compliments (and love.).

i survived a dangerous ride home with Weiqiang in the driver's seat.
scary man, heard the guys views of going in a club.
LOL.

missing someone dearly,
is how i'll end this.

i need you more than i love you, and i love you to bits.

i miss my best guy friend very much (though we just met the day before.) but time was shortlived, he had to rush off and study. hopefully we can go out soon after the exams end!

okay enough of the sappy introduction, i guess i didn't mention, but i went for Uniqlo's interview on Monday and i managed to get short-listed for the second round of interviews. i really have to thank Ms Virginia Cheng(the HK communication skills tutor) for prepping me for it. you can say, the interviews went pretty well :)

headed to the library afterwards, basically i spent the entire day with myself. having some 'me' time and reminiscing the past as i walked home from Hougang Mall.

i think i left out something, that most of my Poly friends will not know, i used to walk home from school everyday to get myself in shape for prom. The walk is about half an hour to forty-five minutes long, about the same distance if you walk from Temasek Polytechnic to Tampines MRT Station.

the walk was good, i thought about the past, the memories i kept, the crushes i've had and of cos' the friends i made as i passed by my secondary school on my way home. funny how things are the same yet different. i learnt alot in there, how to protect myself and knowing who to trust. i really thank my friends for being with me in my time there, i am missing Suzianne and the rest bad.

girls and boys out there, let me ask you guys a question, haven't you wondered, how do you really know when a relationship/friendship/whatevership ends?

The Answer: When you find yourself more in love with the memories rather than the person in front of you.

True enough eh?

Sometimes we find ourselves discontented and unhappy in a relationship, but we cannot put a finger to what is the real problem. Then we start recalling the past, whereby mostly are fixations of the blissfulness that we have experienced. And... we forget that the person who is right in front of you is the same as the one in the memory, because we only remembered how happy we are then.

It made me ponder a bit on certain issues in my life, yes of cos' with my boyfriend too. I realised that I for one have been unhappy in this relationship a bit, I am not blaming him or anything, cos' I found out most of the time that I am upset and I cannot find a reason why, is because my needs are not being fulfilled.

What needs?

Recognition, affection, career, monetary, friendship... and the list goes on.

So that has nothing got to do with my boyfriend isn't it?

WRONG.

everyone just wants more and more and more. that is perhaps how the pile of issues has built up between us overtime.

at least we bothered to work it out, than to leave it hanging. hopefully, it will not happen again(the arguement on Valentine's) and we will be better partners for each other.

on a second note, special thanks to everyone for my birthday present.

jasmine yap - ferragamo Inspire perfume (i think)

andreas, iris, kat, joyce, joey, chin, bei & serene - adidas pangyang-ish hat & dustbin

joyce - notes & random korean gifts!!

nicole & ahlee - mphosis shorts & the advice on sex. LOL.

thanks to those who surprised me at my place! i was vividly surprised and horrified at the same time, cos i look plain ugly. thanks everyone for coming though, yes including beifang's brother whose name i have yet to get to know of.

pictures below!

wishes with my family

the tpde love!

clubbing the day after i'm 19.

anyway, i'm gonna be hanging out with my girlfriends tomorrow. a night fun and partying. heh.

NICOLE & AHLEE: I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS TONNES!

okay, like they will read.

ciao mamacitas~

brave new girl

i'm glad that i managed to convince myself to attend lyrical jazz in O School yesterday.

i reached O School about an hour before class starts and I sat there contemplating whilst reading my book,whether or not to attend.

Why you guys might wonder? Why am I so afraid?

Frankly speaking, I am kind of intimidated by the people inside. Their techniques and how well they can control their muscles, in a way that doing a double pirouqutte seems so easy.

Then I told myself, "You came all the way here cos' you wanted to attend the class right? Why are you backing out now??? CHICHKEN!".

LOL.

So I dragged myself to the counter the second time and Ben was like "So Sam, have you decided to go for class?". Haha. I managed a "Yeah..." Slopping myself on the counter, a hint of contemplation still lingers inside of me.

All I can say is, class was awesome, class was tough, class pushed me to my boundaries, class tested my anxiety(i was so damn nervous, my feet got sweaty and I couldn't balance on my pirouquettes and my legs were shaking everytime i releve), class was great.

I managed to overcome myself, convinced myself that this is another Wednesday class in school, just a lot tougher when it comes to physical work. I enjoyed the choreography too, Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield.

When Ryan tapped my shoulder, together with Nicole and many others, I was secretly overjoyed inside my very 'sweaty' heart. Thank you Ryan, for giving me this chance :)
I love doing jazz, somehow everytime I do it, it makes me feel like completing my ballet grades again.

Fattysheep made me accompany him for dinner after class, by then it was already 10pm and most of the stores at POMO were closed.

So we headed to Sing Ho Chicken Rice cos' I wanted to eat Rochor Beancurd!! Anyway, Fattysheep was nice enough to treat me, I asked him la, my birthday present. LOL.

We talked damn long, about dance, attitude, perception, stereotyping, concert, people et cetra. Cannot believe the amount of topics we covered. Anyway it was nice talking to him(even though he is smelly), can say that Fattysheep has grown out of his irritating phase, to become a more understanding person.

HAHAHA.

Okay, I shall quit ranting, Nicole asked me to go shopping with Ahlee and her last night, maybe I should, just to make the most of my holidays.

See you all!

Oh. Just a conversation to end this post.

(a conversation on Captain Planet, not acurate, but somewhere along the line)
Sam: It was shown eons ago, when I was five or something.
Sam: Then Captain Planet died in a car crash.
Kaiwen: REALLY!??!?!?!??!
Sam: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

LOL.

Enjoy your day! :D

Happy Belated Valentine's Day y'all!

love is in the air.
during the month of February,
everyone will be looking forward to St. Valentine's.
(i wonder why not my birthday!!!!)
hahahaha.
okay, i had a pretty fruitful one this year.
on Valentine's eve,
I went round the East on my sturdy legs to give out Valentine's Day presents!
Picture the long ride from Punggol to Pasir Ris to Bedok to Simei and lastly, Tampines.

i victimized certain loves of mine.
hahahaha.
all i can say is their reaction when they received their present(except iris, i gave her something else) is: GRABS IT AND HIDES IT.
LOL.
pictures below!!!!!!!!!

St. Valentine's Eve

Victim 1: JOEY CHENG

Victim 2: JOYCELYN CHEW

Victim 3 & 4: SERENE V. LIM & TAN MEICHIN

Victim 5: KATHERINE LIM

----------UNAVAILABLE COS YET TO MEET UP WITH HER------------------
VICTIM 6: LEE BEI FANG

UNVICTIMISED VICTIM: IRIS NG

YES THEY ALL GOT BARNEY UNDERWEAR EXCEPT IRIS.
hahahahaha.
super funny.
i bought them cos, it somehow suits everyone's favourite colour(except joyce's but got the naughty on hers okay!)
heh.
yet to give ahleelee, nicole-curry-puff, meimei and gin theirs.

so Valentine's day was spent at East Coast,
with a boyfriend in hand and pikunikku materials in the other.
he brought along 'XXL' mat to lay on the grass,
i was kinda embarrassed when he starting unvieling the mat.
IT'S MEGA EFFING HUGE.
both of us can lie down and there's still extra space.
bought, black pepper chicken, grapes, egg mayo sandwich(made by boyfriend), two small bottles of white wine, 1.5 litres of Mineral water, pooh bear tissue packs, Subway cookies, beehoon(his mum bought) etc.

ate alot.
felt like a pig after that.
cos basically what we did from 4pm to 12 midnight was:
eat, sleep, talk, quarrel, make up, eat, sleep, quarrel, solve the quarrel, eat, sleep, get bitten by mosquitoes, eat, sleep...
shan't bore you all with out pikunikku outing already.
peektures below!

fat face.

the quirky underwear that i got for him.

model wannabe.

giving me his heart. <3

playing foodsie.

'you sing me praises of no other.'

my long skinny pig :)

how deep is your love?

i really need to know.

our erotic picture.
WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA. it was an accident seriously.

LOL. sorry for the boobies.

gangsta chin!

PIG MAN.

sequel to IP MAN.

'the wind in your hair, is like my love enveloping you.'

hahaha! sorry to my friends who have to see this super discreet post, but it's valentine's day! enjoy(my bra too. hahahaha!).

love is you.

under the canopy of love.

snuggled up.

love in the first degree.

blue sky paradise.

if only time could pass slowly, i would make the most with you.

kaiwen's feet is tickling my armpit!!!!!!!!!!!

after the entire day of pikunikku.

i love my boy very much,
even though we argue and cannot stand each other sometimes.
he'll be there holding my hand no matter how pissed he is.
and i will be secretly feeling loved by that act.
our 4th month when February ends.
i love you. plenty. :)

D. It is written.

12 of Feb saw me getting into the movies alone.
uh-huh.
ALONE.
it's been awhile since i've done that,and i'm glad i did.
Slumdog Millionaire is one of the most romantic movies ever!
People go catch it!(macham like fish.)



taken from GV(Singapore):
"Slumdog Millionaire" is the story of Jamal Malik, an 18 year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, who is about to experience the biggest day of his life. With the whole nation watching, he is just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million rupees on India's "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

But when the show breaks for the night, police arrest him on suspicion of cheating; how could a street kid know so much? Desperate to prove his innocence, Jamal tells the story of his life in the slum where he and his brother grew up, of their adventures together on the road, of vicious encounters with local gangs, and of Latika, the girl he loved and lost. Each chapter of his story reveals the key to the answer to one of the game show's questions.

Intrigued by Jamal's story, the jaded Police Inspector begins to wonder what a young man with no apparent desire for riches is really doing on this game show?

When the new day dawns and Jamal returns to answer the final question, the Inspector and sixty million viewers are about to find out...
<---------------------END------------------------>



okay, that's a really brief summary.
but you guys should really catch it!
it's amazing to see how the answers to the questions relate to him.
and how he only loved one woman in his life.
it's just truly amazing.
this show gave me a new perspective in other's and my own life.
really got me thinking.
highly recommended y'all!

Rebel caught up on me on Wednesday - which is also Ladies Night!
wee~
went with Meimei, Nicole, Kat, Joyce, Iris and Chin
i like the fact that we do not have to pay for the cover charge!!!
went into Rebel, danced abit.
the music's kinda weird at first,
but it got better,
tonnes of new songs were out in the club already.
went to The Arena next,
for Sex on the Beach!
it's kinda diluted.
i drank 4 glasses, only the third and fourth ones had a reasonably adequate amount of alcohol.
but still, i was feeling 'tired' after the drinks.
went back to Rebel and danced our ass off.
we had this mini competition whereby we have to get a drink from a guy(s).
okay, only nicole and kat passed.
but we had a good number of guys wanting to dance up to us okay!!!!
yes, each of us had!
hahahaha.

okay 3 things that made me happy that night.
1. I smack a guy in the face akkseedentalee!!!!!!!!!
: i was high and yeah, sorry! i felt really bad. hahaha. okay maybe this is not the first happiest, maybe the third?

2. MEIQI GOT DRAGGED OUT OF HER 'TIRED' MODE BY A GUY TO DANCE!!!!!!!!!!
: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. it was hilarious.

3. I GOT HUGGED BY THIS "THUNDER DOWN UNDER' guy.
: why? he said i was shy, and that was my first hug by a random angmoh!!!!!

anyway, it was a fun night.
enjoyed myself with the girls.
yay, i like the fact that we are 18 and legal.
nicole met her friend Jay or is it J??
and we headed to Music Garage(he is the owner.) after dancing till lights out.
he's a really sweet and nice guy
offering all of us help!!!
really too nice already,
he invited all of us to his birthday party next Saturday,
but he didn't even know my name till i was leaving the studio.
LOL.
speaking of which, i'm so in love with the studio apartment!
it's comfortable, cosy and just wonderful!
i'll post pictures soon.
:D

really thanked him for his hospitality.
had an awesome night.
headed home at 6am?
trained to save money :)
supposed to meet my baby for Slumdog, but he had quiz the next day and wanted to save money -.-
that's how i ended up alone.
anyhoo, i got to get ready for Comm. Skills interview which I have no idea it is on what.
God bless me man.
hahahahha.
and you guys too!

i'm 19 and rolling!

'happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to Samantha Lee~
happy birthday to you!'

rang in my ears millions of times yesterday.
i'm very thankful for my dance babies, cell group, bestfriend, family and boyfriend for making this ordinary day to special.
i'm so stuffed from the buffet and the cakes i have eaten,
that i am currently suffering from indigestion.

planning to go for St. Jazz later if time and weather allows.
clubbing tonight at Rebel with all the sexy ladies from dance.
yay!
we are all legal!!!
okay,
i'll blog more when i get back.
or when i finally pooped all the rubbish out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Note to God

Dear Father,
on this day, every year,
I turn a year older.

you send me to earth,
10th February 1990,
with lots of love and pride.
you tailored me the way you visioned me,
smiling as I came crying out.

when i was one,
i pray for mummy and daddy to buy me my favourite toy,
and i pray that they will love me for life.

when i was five,
i asked mummy for ballet classes,
cos i wanna be in a tutu,
mummy gave me everything i wanted,
but i still lied to her.
so i pray that mummy will give me a new playmate,
such that she would not scold me anymore,
and some other kid will love her,
more than i have ever loved her.

when i was ten,
i grew so bitter,
i hated the world,
i pray for everyone to vanish,
leaving me with my hurt.
i hated my friends in school,
they couldn't understand my pain,
i hated my parents at home,
they couldn't relate to me.
i hated school, home, people and you.
for i believed you were out to get me.

when i turned 15,
i started to understand,
but pride got in most of the time and i couldn't give in.
i started keeping quiet as i didn't wanna say the wrong things.
i looked at my parents sadly,
questioning myself,
why our relationship had soured.
i poured my heart and soul into dance,
my only source of escape.
nevertheless, tears still fall when dawn breaks and,
i'm all alone again.

this year Father,
i am 19 years old.
i wanna thank you for bringing me to life,
and protecting me in all ways.
thank you for planning my route to meet inspirational people at O School,
letting them guide me on the path back to you.
i thank you for softening my heart,
so i wouldn't be so cold and heartless anymore,
i learnt to feel for others,
and empathy was not uncommon anymore.

i often questioned and got angry with you throughout my 19 years,
asking why do i have to go through so much pain.
i finally understood that,
it was a test of faith.
a lesson to grow me in ways that nobody except you could.
i thank you for my name Samantha,
as it means God's Listener.
i'm constantly hearing out your Word and relating it back to people I love.

i thank you for such great friends that i have met,
they gave me a new perspective in life.
teaching me new stuff and also letting me live my life.
gone were the days where i cared so much about rules,
i learnt to loosen up and have fun.

i thank you for my talents,
dancing, creativity and more.
they brought me to greater heights and taught me that i can be what i wanna be if i strive for it.
Father, the talents you have provided,
opened many doors,
I thank you once again for that as it made my life more complete.

Father,
I have to thank you for letting me this wonderful opportunity to meet such an amazing guy.
the visions that you sent me,
be it when i was sleeping or stoning,
shows me the answers that I have been religiously praying for;
to find love.
i thank you for Zheng Kaiwen,
he is the most understanding, caring and wonderful guy for me.
even though i keep wanting more from him,
i know he is perfect for me.
Lord, thanks for answering my prayers so that we can be together.
I know you have provided for me so much for the past year and all I can do is pray and thank you.

Father in Heaven, words cannot express my gratitude for saving me and for providing to my wishes.
I love you and I thank you,
for this life,
that I will cherish with all my heart.

Amen.

in pain

eyes tired from crying.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a damn good show.

my back is aching,
my legs cannot move per normal,
i'm in pain.
the cramps are killing me.
nausea hits the back of my throat,
pain from esgesting.

someone please help me.

Freak The Vote!

okay thought i would blog about something before i coop myself upin my room and start mugging for two of tomorrow's papers.

RINO IS THE HOTTEST BRITNEY EVER!
YES YES.
RINO NAKASONE-RAZALAN.
CATCH BEATFREAKS ON AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW!
they get my vote, anytime, anywhere.
strong and versatile female dancers.
they are truly reppin' all the female dancers out there.
i'm supporting them all the way!!!
of course, not forgetting my favourite,

Rino!!!!

hahahaha.
they make me so inspired to reach my goals and achieve my dreams.
hopefully God's got my back to make it happen!


sometimes whenever, you say things like this.
how i make you feel so damn unhappy.
i wonder if you're better off without me.
you ask me why i keep thinking about letting go.
have you ever thought, sometimes you make me feel like this?
i guess everytime when i get too happy,
shit like this always brings me back down to zero.
maybe it's trying to tell me to come back down to earth and not float too much?
it's so unfair.
can't i just lead a happy and carefree life for a year??

i guess i have to constantly remind myself that,
the happy times that once happen,
are enough to cover all the bad times.
i don't know what to say anymore.
i feel so lost.

i want to run with the wild horses.

decision

i have decided.

i will be happy.
i will be more optimistic.
and i will not celebrate my birthday.

101 Ironies in a Day.

hey all, i had a super duper long day today.
went to school for IM paper,
i was late cos my dad took ages to get my waterbottle!!!
and so, i missed the darn 34 that took so long to come.
anyway, the paper's alright.
don't know if i am able to ace it though.

i encountered many ironies today,
shall share with you guys! :D
met the Boyfriend after school for dinner.
was waiting for him near the mushroom when i saw his sister first instead of him.
hahaha.
so i talked to jingling for a bit,
and the Boyfriend showed up minutes later.
i can see from afar his ashen-gray face,
i know he was thinking,
"What the hell is my sister doing with my girlfriend?!?!?!?"
kinda funny his expression when i asked him about it after that.
lol.

after dinner, i made my way to Taman Jurong to teach dance.
i sat this 2hour long ride that resulted in a sore bum.
funnily, i'm teaching reggae that requires alot of lower body action.
thus my sore bum had to be up and working again for that class.
class was fun as usual,
this bunch of students are really hardworking and funny.
anyway, i cannot complain much about the long ride there,
as i managed to get funds for my navel piercing from it :D

okay the second irony occured when i was waiting for the bus 30 to head back to tampines.
as i was waiting,
some West-side mosquitoes decided they needed some East-side blood,
and proceeded their mission to suck from the poor me.
i was pretty numb from the cold,
therefore, i could only feel the aftermath of it: itchiness.
after awhile, my bus came.
GUESS WHAT?
the bus has adverts educating the public on Dengue Fever.
ironic or what?
after two West-side mosquito bites,
i was definitely feeling a tad paranoid.

on the way back,
i passed by the CBD and managed to catch a glimpse of Singapore's amazing citylights at night.
they remind me of pictures I have seen of Hongkong and Times Square in New York,
of course, theirs are much more vibrant.
but the scene of Singapore's skyscrapers being lit overwhelmed me.
igniting a desire to travel abroad and see even better sights.
just as i was thinking of New York,
"Take me on a trip I'd like to go some day... Would you be my American Boy?~"
Estelle crooned on my iTouch.
ironic?
hahaha,
or just a plain accident?
kevinn too once said that that song reminds him of the Boyfriend and I,
he has no idea why though,
so yeah,
as usual,
i thought of my Baby and I...
IN TIMES SQUARE!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL.

after switching a million buses to get to tampines to catch the last 34 home,
(okay i am exaggerating on this.)
i was riding peacefully(and feeling super cold), in bus 31 along the ECP.
then i saw this DUDE.
oh my goodness,
i really wonder what's wrong with him.
he was sitting 2'o clock from my view,
and i managed to catch the disgusting act that he did openly.
HE DUG HIS NOSE LIKE THERE'S NO END IN HIS VERY SMALL NOSE.
the way he dig his nose is terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just imagine this,
he used like 4 different fingers and different times to dig(pinky was the priority.),
and everytime he proceeds to do his gross deed,
his mouth will open and form a very ugly inverted U-shape.
IT'S DAMN GROSS I TELL YOU!
after which, he proceeded to scratch the scalp on his head, the dead skin on his face,
and of course the other nostril.
just when i thought he had stopped,
HE PROCEEDED TO DIG HIS EAR.
ohmytian,
at that point of time,
i feel like going up to him and shout,
"YOU ARE DAMN DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
ugh.
gross gross gross.
the next thing he did, made me wanna puke.
after his disgusting act,
he emptied the debris that has fallen on to his shirt on the floor/seat of the bus.
MAJOR EW right?

okay i shan't talk to him anymore.

i would rather think of Bugsy who did not try and scare me today!
thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

5 more days to my birthday.
can't wait???
nah.
more like not anticipating.
oh well,
good night world.
samansarii's fat fingers has become tired from this extensive exercise.

Funka's Best Female In Futuristix! :D

okay i'm super eggcited and happy for JASMINE LEE,
aka AHLEE LEE right now.
congrats on winning Best Female Dancer for Funkamania 2009!
i'm so proud of you babe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






one week more till 19.
:S

Project: Group Meeting.

hey guys yet again.
i have yet to update on a long-awaited post.
OUR OFFICIAL GROUP PROJECT AT DARON'S PLACE.
yes yes yes.
where all the members are FINALLY present to do our projects together.
if i'm not wrong it was 2 or 3 Sundays ago,
where we headed to Daron's crib in a corner of Tampines to do our project!
it was the first time where everyone was present,
diligently doing our projects together whilst having a teen weeny bit of fun.

first, i have to say that i was mega impressed by Daron's crib!
the interior spells simplicity and cosiness.
the whole zen/vintage feel made the entire house feel really warm!
what i like most were the doors to the bedroom.
instead of traditional knobbed-doors,
their doors depict old-world charm by using a block of wood to lock the doors.
like those you see in really old movies.
so you close the door by connecting two door planks together,
locking it by sliding another piece of wood through an opening.
cool huh!
i was very impressed.
pictures below to see the interior of his place!
oh oh oh!
his house was even featured in a interior design magazine eons ago!

entrace to his flat.

the living room

in another angle

his post donut birthday party decorations

daron's room.

inside his room

his mini-collection of cool stuff

hongkong anyone?

the door that i was raving about.

cool eh?

the lock! *edited for clearer viewing*

sorry the photos didn't do justice to his place,
as i was using my 2.0megapixel camera phone!!!!
i can say Daron's a sucker for perfection.
i busily snapped pictures around his place and upon knowing it,
he quickly tidied up and asked me to do another round of shots.
heh.
so this is pre-photoshoot look of the house!

his place, pre-tidying up.

him tidying up furiously.

okay i decided to have some fun at his place too!

hello i am samansarii!

hardworking mates in the foreground and me skiving off!

til...
the project bug caught up and made me look like this ------>

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

samansarii has to pose for a picture no matter what!


the the bug decides to take on Daron too!!!!!!!!!

wahahahaha.

okay i have to study for my IM test tomorrow,
but i still have a dying desire to blog on an issue.

you know i hate it when people ask someone else to do the dirty work for them.
if you are opposed to the matter so much then DO IT YOURSELF.
don't make someone feel so uncomfortable by having to becoming the messenger.
that feeling sucks,
you say i don't think about people's feelings,
but have you thought about the person that you made them abide to your request???
seriously, just think about it,
before you start preaching on what you feel about this and that to me.

secondly, i would like to make an apology to suyin.
i know many people have questioned her regarding my post on not being invited.
apparently there were certain miscommunication issues and i didn't received the text invite.
suyin told me personally that she sent out a few but i didn't reply.
however on my part, i received no text on that day.
thus, i was left out unintentionally.
to clarify everything it was just a miscommunication between people and a communication breakdown between technical equipments.
therefore i have no grudge or anything against her.

one thing i am still very riled up on is questioning my participation in this friendship.
if you guys feel that i have made no effort or what-so-ever in this friendship then i have nothing to say.
i have told you guys the reasons on my absence on most occasions,
cos my schedule is usually pack with dance training way ahead,
thus i will not be able to attend anything that is planned out of the blue.
i really appreciate the efforts though,
when such texts are sent out.
i always make the effort to reply them no matter what.
but since you guys already have this precoception that i cannot be bothered with our frienship, it saddens me, but i have nothing to say.
suzanne and i have discussed this issue through and through,
why can't we have a frienship that knows each other inside out?
when we see each other we'll be as close as before?
we don't have to meet all the time and etc.
just montly meet ups will do.

i think all these are based on my perception of things,
but truthfully speaking i really do cherish this frienship that we had.
i guess we can have two outlooks on this issue:
1. Try and omit the weirdness when we see each other once in awhile.
(I don't get it why such things will occur, i thought we know each other well enough to not have such feelings about each other, i don't seem to have a problem towards you guys, but i know some of us do.)

2. Just forget about me.
(Makes things easier i presume?)

it is kinda sad that such an issue will occur,
but perhaps it is a rude-awakening in our face,
that time passes and people move on.
okay so much for a happy new year God.
(and i predict, there will be posts commenting on me no?)

bye world!